Without You
by lovelovelove22
Summary: Bella has to cope with her movie star fiancee's death, and remembers him through flashbacks. Can she fight through the paparazzi, the pain, and her own self to find happiness again?
1. Chapter 1

**BEING EDITED AS OF 1/13/10**

**I got the idea for this story last night while I was watching P.S. I Love You, and I really wanted to turn it into a story. It rotates from present time to various flashbacks. I think almost every chapter will contain a flashback.**

BPOV

"The entire nation is struck with grief with news of the death of beloved film star Edward Cullen in a private plane accident this morning….." I could hear the newscaster's voice plain as day, but all I felt was numbness. How dare these people be struck with grief? _I _am his fiancée. I am the one who should be struck with grief. They didn't know him; most of them hadn't even spoken to him or even seen him in person. He was _mine._

"Turn it off." A quiet, melodic voice said, and the TV went black. "Bella, honey…please talk to me." It was my best friend Alice, and her arms were suddenly wrapped around me.

"He said that he would never, ever leave me. He promised!" I croaked. "He can't be gone." I felt another, stronger pair of arms around me and I collapsed into them. It was Emmet, my other best friend.

"Bella, we're here with you." He said gruffly in my ear, stroking my hair. "We're not going to leave you."

"But he did." I sobbed, burying my face into his muscular arm. "Edward left me. Why did he leave me?"

"He didn't _want _to leave, sweetie. He was taken away from us, and I'm sorry, but there is no way to bring him back." Alice whispered, and I felt more tears on my face. She was crying too.

Edward was Alice's older brother, and we had been dating for three years. And just four days ago, Edward had proposed to me. We were supposed to get married, have a family, have a _life_…but that was all gone now, and I would never get it back.

**Flashback- The Engagement:**

"**Dance with me." Edward whispered in my ear, holding out his hand to me. I blushed, but accepted his hand. I couldn't refuse him.**

"**You know I'm a terrible dancer." I scolded as Edward escorted me to the dance floor, not letting his hand move from mine.**

"**How many times do I have to tell you?" Edward whispered, and I closed my eyes at the sensation of his warm breath on my ear. "It's all in the leading, my beautiful girl."**

_**His **_**girl. I would never get sick of him calling me that.**

**We were at a fundraiser, and the press was everywhere, trying to get an interview with Edward. But he ignored most of them and devoted his time to me. Of course, he had to make a speech, and that was the only time he had left my side all night.**

"**Edward! What is your main motivation for the cause?" A reporter interrupted us, shoving a tape recorder in Edward's face. I patiently waited while he answered the question, but when he turned back to me, his expression was distant.**

"**Let's go." He said softly, pulling me to the exit and glancing over his shoulder.**

"**What?" I asked in surprise, stumbling after him in my stilettos. "Edward, we can't leave yet!" He whirled around to face me and captured my lips in his.**

"**Bella, nobody will care. I already made my contribution and my speech, plus my official statement. I'm yours for the rest of the night." I couldn't help the huge grin that spread across my face when he called himself mine. "So, are we leaving?" He asked, pausing at the door.**

"**Yes." I nodded without another second of hesitation and Edward chuckled, wrapping his arm around me and walking out the door. **

"**Damn paparazzi." He growled, pulling me closer; trying to shield me from the bright flashes and screaming fans.**

**I was a painfully normal girl from a tiny town in Washington, and had met Edward through his sister Alice. At first, he had completely dazzled me. But once I looked past his movie star, pretty boy shell, I found my Edward. The sensitive, loving, romantic man that held my heart. Even after all these years, the attention Edward received from paparazzi and fans still startled me, and I didn't think I would ever get used to it.**

"**Edward! What can you tell us about your newest project?"**

"**Are you two considering marriage?"**

"**Is it true your girlfriend is pregnant?"**

"**No comment." Edward replied to all the questions. But when the marriage question came up, I saw the way his eyes lit up and felt the way he squeezed me tighter against him.**

**We finally made it through the intimidating wall of paparazzi and to the car without incident, and Edward helped me in.**

"**Whew." I huffed, collapsing against the seat and throwing my tiny clutch on the floor of the limo.**

"**I know." Edward murmured, running his hands through my hair. "I'm sorry." He added.**

"**It's not your fault, Edward." I sighed. "The price of fame."**

"**The price of fame." He repeated, scrunching his eyebrows together. "Is it worth it?"**

"**Edward!" I gasped, shocked. "You love your career."**

"**I do." He agreed. "But I love you more, and if Hollywood keeps putting this strain on our relationship, I know what I would choose." He pressed a kiss to my nose. "You. Always."**

**His sweet words were turning my heart to mush, but I didn't want him to feel entitled to tell me things like this. I knew that he loved me, and that's really all I need."****You don't have to say that." I said quietly, and Edward snorted.**

"**You need to know that, Bella." He said seriously. "You need to realize you much I love you." Edward slowly reached into his pocket; and my heartbeat immediately kicked up. "I want you to marry me." He said quietly, pulling out a black jewelry box and cracking it open. "Bella, will you do me the **_**incredible **_**honor of becoming my beloved, treasured wife? My partner in everything? My reason for living?" I looked at him in shock, unable to wipe the huge, doofy grin off my face.**

"**Edward, are you sure about this?" I blabbed, stunned. "I mean, you yourself said the timing isn't right, and that we should wait until your career dies down a bit-"**

"**I'm absolutely positive about this. This **_**is **_**the right time. I want to marry you." Edward's eyes suddenly became dark. "You don't want to marry me?" My heart nearly broke at the hurt in his eyes, and I threw my arms around him.**

"**I want to marry you, Edward." I whispered in his ear, and he grinned. "Why don't you ask again, and I'll give you my honest answer."**

"**Will you marry me?" He asked me, with the biggest smile I had even seen adorning his perfect face.**

"**Yes." I said, holding back the onslaught of tears I felt stinging in my eyes. "I will marry you."**

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**A/N: So how do you guys feel about this story? I would appreciate reviews!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes, this is going to be a sad story. But Bella will reflect on very happy moments, so it's a balance. This entire story is BPOV unless marked otherwise.**

**-----**

I think I've forgotten how to move. I feel stiff; like I'm filled with lead. Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could see that I was in our bedroom, and the spot next to me was unusually empty.

"Edward?" I called, rubbing my eyes. "Honey, where are you?" This is weird. Edward always sleeps much later than I do, and I have to drag him out of bed sometimes after late nights.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Alice was suddenly in our room and at my side in a moment, rubbing my back soothingly.

What in the world is Alice doing here so early in the morning? I just want Edward, and I want him right now. Every single time he leaves, it's like he takes a little piece of my heart along with him, and I don't get it back until I'm in his arms again.

"Where's Edward, Alice?" I asked sleepily, flopping back onto the bed. Alice noticeably froze, her eyes wide and glassy with tears, and I looked up at her; confused.

"Bella, do you remember what happened yesterday?" She asked tentatively, biting her lip. At those words, the painful memories of yesterday came flooding back to me.

**Flashback- Phone Call:**

**I was eating a bowl of cereal in our bed, watching the news. Edward was on a short press junket in Las Vegas, and would be back early the next morning. I couldn't stop admiring the ring on my left ring finger; it was truly beautiful. The cushion cut diamond was 14 carats and set on a silver, diamond studded band. It was a huge ring, and even though I was a fairly modest person, I adored it. It was absolutely perfect. **_**(Author's Note: The link to this ring is available on my profile.)**_

**I had Edward, and I would have him for the rest of my life. Or so I thought.**

"**In breaking news, reports say that everyone's favorite movie star, 27 year old Edward Cullen, was involved in a potentially fatal plane crash only minutes ago. No further information is available at this time." My heart literally skipped a few beats.**

_**No. He can't be dead….he loves me! We're supposed to be together for the rest of our lives.**_

**At that instant, my phone rang. I fumbled to answer it; my hands shaking drastically.**

"**Is this Miss Isabella Swan?" An unfamiliar women asked.**

"**Yes, this is she." I croaked, clutching the comforter in my free hand and biting my lip.**

"**Miss Swan, I regret to inform you that at 10:24 this morning, Edward Cullen was brought into the ER, and is currently in critical condition. We don't think he will make it much longer." Her voice was very apologetic and comforting, but somehow empty.**

**This couldn't be happening to me. **"**What? No! How long does he have left?" I asked desperately, throwing on a tee shirt and shorts.**

"**Miss Swan, we don't think he'll make it past noon." I crumpled to the floor immediately, holding my face in my hand. It was already 11 o'clock. Was there a chance I would never see the love of my life again? That didn't seem possible.**

"**No, no, this can't be happening…I'll be there as soon as I can. What hospital?" I blubbered, running out the door, keys in hand. She told me the name of the hospital and the room number, and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd be there in time. "Can you tell him something for me?" I asked desperately.**

"**I can have his nurse tell him something, but there is a very low chance he will be able to understand it." She answered hesitantly.**

"**Tell him that I love him very much, and that-" I muffled a sob. "he is my everything." **

"**I'll have his nurse tell him." She assured me, just as I reached the garage.**

"**Thank you." I said, hanging up and making my way down the driveway in my convertible. Paparazzi were, of course, huddled around the gate.**

**Could this day get any worse? I had just gotten a phone call saying that my fiancé was going to die, and these damn people **_**still **_**found a way to make me even more upset.**

"**Bella! Bella, is the story true?"**

"**Are you on your way to the hospital?"**

"**Any comments on Edward's condition?"**

**I pulled out the driveway, thankful that my large sunglasses covered my red, swollen eyes. The paparazzi continued to follow me, and I couldn't contain myself.**

"**Just leave me the fuck alone!" I roared, unable to stop the tears that began falling down my cheeks. Miraculously, I managed to escape the remaining paparazzi and continued on my way, pushing the speed limit and almost running countless red lights. By the time I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, it was half past eleven, and my heart was beating unbelievably fast.**

**  
I tore through the hospital to the room number I had been told, only to find that I wasn't allowed in. "This is high profile, you can't-" The security guard tried to stop me, but I clung to his shirt.**

"**No, no, he's my fiancé! Please, I need to see him, he's…" I trailed off, begging and crying, and he stared at me for a moment before stepping aside and letting me walk into the room.**

"**I'm sorry." I heard him whisper just before the door shut behind me. **

**I stood frozen by his bed, unable to process what I wasn't seeing.**

**This couldn't be him. This couldn't be Edward…it **_**couldn't **_**be him. Wiping eyes off and still crying, I reached out and touched his hand, squeezing my eyes shut so I didn't have to see it anymore. It was terrible…his face was covered in blood and bruises and his body looked oddly distorted and broken.**

**Sinking to my knees next to his bed, I clung to his hand. "Don't do this, please." I rasped, tears still pouring down my face. "Don't leave me, I can't live without you!" I begged, knowing that he probably couldn't hear me. **

"**Are you Bella Swan?" **

**I spun around, startled, and saw a doctor standing in the doorway, his eyes tired and appraising. "Yes, I'm his emergency contact. He's…he's my fiancé."I explained, wiping my eyes again. "What's going on? What's wrong?" I demanded, refusing to let go of Edward's hand as the doctor moved closer to me.**

"**Both his lungs are punctured, he has severe internal bleeding, there's shrapnel and metal riddling his entire body…we tried to stop all the bleeding, but think his heart is going to give out." He said in a soft, apologetic voice, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Is the rest of his family coming?" **

**I shrugged my shoulders, fumbling for my cell phone. "I can call them…" I offered, but my hands with slick with sweat.**

"**If you want to." He said, checking over Edward's vitals and then heading for the door, and then stopping with his hand on the doorknob. "Bella, I'm sorry, but he doesn't have much time left. I'm so sorry."**

**And then he left the room, and I sat down on the edge of Edward's hospital bed, still refusing to drop his hand. I couldn't let him go.**

**It only took several minutes for Carlisle and Esme arrive, because they too had seen the news. Esme was sobbing hysterically, and immediately threw herself into my arms as we both cried together. Carlisle was eerily silent, his blue eyes wide and disbelieving as he looked at his son in a hospital bed.**

"**Esme, I can't do this!" I sobbed into her shoulder, shaking and trying and failing to hold myself together. **

"**I know, honey." Esme cried, and suddenly the worst sound in the world met my ears. **

**A flatline.**

**Esme, Carlisle, and I all froze as it went off, and my mouth fell open and even more tears poured down my face as what seemed like a million people came running into the room. We stood there at the foot of the bed, disbelieving and horrified at what was happening right in front of us.**

**And then, I knew that it was all over. My **_**life **_**was over.**

**Everything happened in a blur then, and I didn't snap out of the daze I was in until Carlisle spoke to me.**

"**Do you want us to come over to the house with you?" Carlisle suddenly asked, holding Esme tightly as she cried into his shoulder. He also and looked sounded terrible, but wasn't inconsolable like Esme and I. "You shouldn't be alone in that house."**

"**Yes, please." I managed, sobs still racking my body. "Does Alice know?" I asked quietly. **

"**Yes, we called her on the way over. We'll meet you at the house, Bella." He said, muffling a sob and walking out of the room suddenly.**

**After I walked over to Edward's bed, I leaned down, closed my eyes, and kissed his cheek. My tears got all over his bloody, slightly distorted face as tears continued to wrack my body.**

**I don't know how I exactly got out of the room and to my car, but I managed to drive back to the house in a daze, not once loosening my grip on the steering wheel. By the time I got there, Carlisle's Mercedes was already there. I parked in the driveway, and the second my foot hit the driveway, I collapsed in a pathetic heap.**

**Edward wasn't here with me anymore. We aren't getting married; we won't have a family together. We never gotten to do all the things we had wanted to do together. There was so much we were missing.**

"**Bella!" I felt a cluster of bodies around me, and the familiar clicking of camera's. "Honey, let's get inside." It was Emmet. He scooped me into his arms effortlessly and carried me into the house, trailed by the rest of the family. **

**We sat together in the family room for a long time, huddled together in a sobbing, pathetic mess. Emmet's girlfriend Rosalie, who was a close friend of Edward's, and Alice's husband, Jasper, joined us after awhile, just as broken up as we were.**

"**Bella, can I talk to you?" Esme asked me after awhile, distangling herself from the group and holding her hand out to me. Her voice was so weary and sad; so were her eyes. But I must have looked the same way. Esme led me to the kitchen and took my hand gently.**

"**When you and….Edward" she had to practically choke out her son's name "told me about the engagement, I was so incredibly thrilled. I have thought of you as part of this family for a long time, and I was ecstatic to think that you would finally be a legal, legitimate part of our family." She paused for a moment, pausing to wipe away her tears. "Bella, I want you to have everything of Edwards." Esme finally said, tears welling up in her eyes. "You were the most important thing in his life, and he wasn't truly happy until he found you."**

"**I can't take everything." I whispered, wincing. It hurt to talk. It hurt to breath. It even hurt to cry.**

**Esme shook her head adamantly and pursed her lips to stop of from crying.**"**Yes you can." Esme argued. "I can't do this, Bella. I can't take anymore of him from you." I started to protest again, but she silenced me. "I will always have Edward in my heart, just like you will. But I can't take any of his things." She said simply. "He's yours." **

"**He'll always be your son." I murmured, but I was touched at her words.**

"**But you were the one he lived for, Bella. You were his life." Esme cried, and Carlisle silently entered the room behind us. He hadn't shed a single tear, but I could tell by his face that he was in intense pain just like the rest of us.**

"**Don't argue, Bella." He whispered, holding his wife in his arms. "You deserve what is left of….." he trailed off, trying to compose himself. "What is left of him." He finished, and Esme and I both broke out into a fresh round of tears. **"**He loved you so much." Carlisle added, and tightened his grip around Esme. "We should go." He whispered in his wife's ear, and she flung her arms around me.**

"**I'll call you tomorrow." She whispered, before Carlisle led her out of the room, supporting most of her weight.**

**It hurt to know that Edward would no longer be there for me. He **_**couldn't **_**be there for me for me anymore.**

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"Sweetie? Can you hear us?" Rosalie was there now, along with Alice.

Reality came crashing down on me, and I felt my heart constrict tightly and painfully. "He's dead." I croaked. Alice and Rosalie looked at each other, anguish marring their beautiful faces.

"Yes, Bella. Edward is…dead. He's gone." Alice whispered the last word, tears shining in her eyes. I started sobbing again without warning; I just completely fell apart.

And Edward was the only one that could put me together again.

**------**

**So sad! I wanted to dedicate this story to my beautiful friend Anna, who went through this with her fiancée. She is sitting here helping me with this chapter. And I was crying as she told me her story. Please review, I will update ASAP.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

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I walked down the street, flanked by Alice and Emmet, trying to ignore everyone else around me. "People are staring." I said through my teeth, readjusting my large sunglasses and staring down at the ground.

"They always stare." Alice responded, her eyes red and her voice monotone. "They always have."

I shook my head, trying to stay calm. But thanks to the slew of people trying to take pictures of me and get an interview with Edward Cullen's fiancé.

Was I still to be considered his fiancé? I had tied myself to him in nearly every way possible, but now that he was gone, I had no idea what was happening to me or to my life. "But this is different. Edward is the one they'd stare at, not me. I'm no one." I protested, dodging a reporter.

"You were his." Emmet said quietly, making even more tears pool in my eyes. Seeing my discomfort, Emmet pulled me into his arms and we walked, our heads ducked, down the street. "They're used to you, that's all."

"They shouldn't be." I said hotly. We turned a corner and were immediately hit by a wall of paparazzi.

This was the worst part. These people just had no regard for my privacy…I wasn't being given the space I needed to grieve and try to come to terms with things. I hadn't wanted to go out today, but Alice, Esme, and Carlisle had to plan Edward's funeral, and they insisted that I make the majority of the decisions. Emmet had come along with us for support. But now that we were walking back to the waiting car, the peace was interrupted.

"Have any arrangements been made for the funeral?"

"Has the body been released?"

"How are you doing?"

"Alice! How are you coping with your brother's death?"

"Vultures." Emmet hissed, yanking both Alice and I to the end of the street, were our car was parked. "We can't go three blocks without them mobbing us. It's sick." He rubbed his eyes, which were no doubt stinging with the combination of tears and camera flashes. "How did you put up with all of this?" I thought for a minute, to the first time I had encountered the paparazzi.

**Flashback- Going Public:**

"**I can't believe you talked me into this." I whispered, inhaling deeply. Edward laughed and patted my knee.**

"**You'll do fine, love. Everyone is a bit nervous the first time they do this." He assured me, craning his neck to look out the limo's window. "We're almost there."**

"**Do I look alright?" I asked, running my hands over the dress Alice had selected for me. It was icy blue, with a halter collar and a keyhole opening. The long skirt was pleated, with a beaded waist, and it hit right above the floor in the stilettos Alice forced me into. **

**Edward looked me over for a minute, his eyes playful, a smile tugging at his soft, tender lips.**

"**I told you earlier, and I'll tell you again." Edward said seriously, taking my hand. "You look beautiful." I blushed and Edward ran his hands over his own suit. "Now what about me? Do **_**I**_** look alright?" I could tell he was teasing me.**

**One of the best things about my relationship with Edward was that although we were both very serious about each other, we were still playful as well. **"**Hmmm…..you look…..handsome. I think every girl here will be jealous of me." I said honestly, knowing how many female fans he had.**

**He smiled sweetly and squeezed my hand. **"**It's not like they're going to tear you apart, love." Edward said grimly. "But some of them will be screaming their displeasure in me having a date." I felt a little woozy suddenly, and Edward rubbed my shoulder gently.**

"**You shouldn't have brought me to the movie premiere." I managed. "Screaming teens? Crazed fans? They **_**will **_**rip me to shreds. Maybe this isn't the best place to….'go public'."**

**Edward narrowed his eyes at me, shaking his head. **"**They've been speculating for weeks, Bella. Everyone knows we're dating, and I promise it won't be that big of a deal." Edward said as the car came to a stop. "Now, are you coming with me, or should I have the driver take you back home?" He held out his hand and I looked at it for a second, taking a deep breath.**

**I just wanted to be with him. **"**I'm coming with you." I managed, and the car door swung open. Edward kissed me, got out of the car, and then turned to help me out. The initial impact was **_**terrifying**_**. Flashing camera's, swarming reporters, screaming fans; it was a huge, terrifying rush.**

"**Just smile, beautiful." Edward whispered in my ear before leading me down the red carpet.**

**It seemed impossibly long, and I was suddenly so aware of all the energy, voices, and people around us. **_**Staring**_** at us.**

"**Over here, Edward!"**

"**Look right here!"**

"**Who are you wearing?"**

"**Who is your date?"**

**People were screaming in our faces, and it was all I could do not to run away. Edward's grip around my waist was the only thing keeping me from bolting.**

"**How do you do this?" I whispered in his ear, and he pulled me tighter to his side. **

"**Practice." He whispered back. "It gets better, I promise."**

"**You think I'll be doing this again?" I asked in shock.**

**Edward looked down at me, rolling his eyes playfully. **"**Of course! You **_**are **_**my girlfriend now, Miss Swan. It's your obligation to come with me." He teased, kissing my temple. More cameras went off and Edward clenched his jaw. "That's going to be all over the tabloids. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you."**

**Was he crazy? He thought I wouldn't like him kissing me? I had never really been in PDA, but I really like it with Edward. I want people to know that he's mine. **"**I **_**like **_**when you kiss me." I said coyly, arching my neck so I could kiss whisper in his ear. "Can you **_**really **_**kiss me? Or would that make you uncomfortable?"**

**Edward grinned at me, his green eyes sparkling brightly as we shuffled to the side slightly and more cameras went off. **"**I would love to kiss you. But aren't you worried about-"**

"**Shut up and kiss me, pretty boy. I don't care about anyone else, I just want you to kiss me." I whispered, and without hesitation, Edward captured my lips in a sweet, tender, open mouthed kiss. More and more screams arose, and I even heard some cries. Reporters screamed their questions, and camera flashes nearly blinded me.**

"**I shouldn't have done that." Edward murmured once our lips broke apart. "Now they'll be all over you."**

"**I don't care." I said stubbornly, even though I did.**

**He smiled again, knowingly, and tapped my nose with his index finger. **"**Yes you do." He smiled. "But I'll protect you. Forever."**

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**A/N: I will update again ASAP. Bella's dress is available on my profile under "Without You" Extras, as well as her engagement ring.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	4. Chapter 4

**I've had some questions about this story that I feel I should answer. One, Edward is **_**not **_**going to become a vampire. Sadly, vampires don't exist in this story. Two, Edward really is dead. As sad as it is, that's what happened.**

**------**

Three days, two hours, and fourteen minutes.

How would I get through this hell?

I was rarely alone. Alice or Emmet were usually with me, because I hated being alone in our house. It felt so big and empty without Edward, and I couldn't make myself go back into our bedroom. I couldn't touch any of his things, either. His favorite coffee mug, the blanket he always used, his sink in our bathroom. I couldn't even bring myself to look at my engagement ring, but I also couldn't bring myself to take it off.

On one hand, I really appreciated having people around with me to try and make me feel better. But on the other hand, I just wanted to be alone and wallow. Having Alice and Emmet come over has been nice, but a little too much. But Alice and Emmet weren't here with me now, and I was all by myself, alone with my thoughts and memories.

There were so many precious moments we had shared, so many memories of him.

Our first kiss. Our engagement. Our first date. Our first time. Our first _everything_. Each of those memories are important and special and _sacred _to me.

I didn't bother to hold back the tears threatening to spill over; I was so used to it.

**Flashback- The First Kiss:**

"**I had a lot of fun tonight." I managed, looking up into Edward's eyes as he walked me to my front door. I hated still living with my parents, but it would have to do for now. "Thank you so much." **

"**I had a lot of fun too." He murmured, stroking my cheek with his thumb.**

**How did I end up here? With one of the most famous celebrities in the country?**

"**So, I guess I should go." Edward said softly, dropping his hand from my face. "I'll call you."**

**Oh my god, Edward Cullen is going to call me! **"**Great." I breathed, and Edward looked at me. The expression in his eyes were different now, more longing, less reserved.**

"**Bella, ****Can I kiss you?" He asked quietly, making my heart skip a beat.**

**Yes, Edward. Kiss me, please. **"**You really don't have to ask." I blushed, and he curled his long fingers under my chin, tilting my head up. Edward's pink lips were dangerously close to mine now, and an adorable, crooked smile was on his lips. We moved closer ever so slowly, and I placed my hands at the nape of his neck, lacing my fingers together. Then our lips touched, and electricity burned through my body, making me gasp against his lips. At first, the kiss was feather soft, but then our lips pressed together with intensity and desperation. I had been kissed before, but had never experienced anything like this.**

**Edward's hands squeezed my waist, and I felt myself press up against him as our kiss grew more intense. Suddenly, the front door swung open and we broke apart, me blushing bright red. Edward's hand was still on my waist.**

"**Dad!" I gasped, ducking my head. My dad stood in the doorway, glaring at Edward.**

"**Thank you for getting my daughter home safely." Dad said sharply, crossing his arms over his chest. "Bella, why don't you get in the house?" He nodded at me before shooting Edward a **_**look**_**.**

**This was ridiculous, I was a grown woman. I was about to protest, but Edward spoke up before I could.** "**I'll call you tomorrow." Edward promised before lightly pecking my lips one last time.**

"**Ok." I said softly, aware that my father was glaring at the both of us. "Thank you!" I called after him as he walked to his car. He smiled at me and waved slightly before driving off. I turned around and Charlie was staring at me, an unpleasant look in his eyes.**

**What could his problem be? He knew that I was going on a date tonight, so that shouldn't be a problem. He's met guys before. **"**Let's have a talk, Bells." He finally said, holding the front door open for me. I silently went inside and walked to the kitchen, where my mother was already sitting at the table, holding a cup of coffee, her laptop open in front of her.**

"**What's wrong?" I squeaked, sinking into a chair.**

"**When you told us you were going on a date with a guy named 'Edward', we didn't think it would be Edward Cullen." My mother said quietly.**

"**How did you-" I asked, confused. Sure, my father had seen Edward, but it was just a few seconds ago. **

**In response, my mom turned the laptop around so I could see the screen. It was one of those tabloid sites, the ones my mother liked to look at. But it wasn't the site that bothered me. It was the headline.**

"**HEARTTHROB EDWARD CULLEN'S MYSTERY DATE! GET ALL THE EXCLUSIVE DETAILS!" Below that, there was a picture of Edward and I walking on the beach, his arm was tight around me, and I was laying my head on his chest. **

"**Oh." I whispered, stunned. **

"**Honey, you have the right to date whoever you want." My father said quietly. "But is this really what you want? Your picture plastered across the internet? Articles about the private details of your life? Because once they figure out who you are, that's what's going to happen."**

"**I really like Edward." I murmured evasively, clicking the link to the article. My mother took the laptop from me and began to read out loud.**

"'**Number One Sexiest Bachelor Edward Cullen stepped out earlier tonight with an unknown woman, much to the disappointment of girls everywhere. Cullen, age 24, took his date out to a simple, romantic dinner, before stopping for dessert, and then a walk on the beach. The wait staff at Providence says **

'**Mr. Cullen was very attentive to his date, he ordered for her and the two held hands most of the meal.' **

**According to the waiter, Edward referred to his date as 'Isabella' or 'Bella' throughout the meal. More updates on our favorite heartthrob's date as soon as more details become available.'" My mom closed her laptop and looked up at me, her eyes apologetic.**

**She opened her mouth to say something, but my ringing phone cut her off.**

"**Hello?" I answered, starting to get up. **

"**Bella, I'm so sorry." It was Edward. My dad motioned for me to sit back down, and I did.**

"**Edward, it's ok." I said honestly.**

"**You saw the article." He stated.**

"**Yes, I did. But really, it doesn't bother me." I insisted, and my mother rolled her eyes.**

"**It should." Edward said softly. "People are going to be all over you."**

"**Edward, I just want to be with you." I said quietly, aware that my parents were only a few feet away. **

"**And if this is the price to pay, I'll take it."**

"**Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly, but I could hear in his voice that he was happy.**

**  
"I'm positive." I said in a strong voice. "Why don't we do something tomorrow? I would like to see you again, if you want to."**

"**That sounds great. But nothing public, I promise. I don't want to thrust you into the spotlight." Edward compromised. "I'll take you to meet the rest of my family. You already know Alice, obviously, but my parents would like to meet you, I'm sure."**

**Wow. His family? **"**Are you sure?" I asked, nervous for the first time. "Your parents?" My own parents exchanged looks.**

"**We want to meet him." My mother mouthed.**

**This was going to be interesting.**

-----

**A/N: I am going on a short trip tomorrow, and won't have any internet until I get home on Sunday night. I may update later tonight, but I'm not sure yet.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**

**P.S. I'm going to Holiday World with my entire family! I'm pretty excited, which is really sad for a 26 year old. But my fiancée is 27 and he's even more excited. Jensen has already planned out everything he's going to do all weekend.**


	5. Chapter 5

**The last chapters made me so sad, this one will be entirely in a flashback. A **_**happy **_**flashback!**

-----

**Flashback- Edward Meets Bella**

**EPOV**

"**Alice, I really don't feel like meeting anyone right now. Come on, I'm exhausted." I protested. **

"**Stop complaining." Alice snapped, pointing her salad fork at me. "Bella is my very best friend; and I want you to meet her." There was no doubt that I loved my little sister. But she was really getting on my last nerve. I had just finished wrapping a movie, and I was seriously **_**exhausted.**_

**And knowing Alice, this was probably going to turn into a set up.**

"**Ten minutes." I warned my sister. "Then I'm going home and going to sleep for the first time in a month."**

**The doorbell rang and Alice bounced up off her seat and bounded towards the front door, leaving me at the dining room table alone.**

**Alice had met Bella a few months ago while I was in Vancouver filming a movie, and apparently the two had become inseparable over that amount of time. Alice was even hinting at setting me up with Bella. I'm sure she's a nice girl, but I just got out of a twisted, horrific love triangle and I don't think this is the best time for me to date someone. Especially my sisters best friend.**

"**You'll **_**love **_**Edward." Alice's voice came from down the hall. I gritted my teeth and set down my fork. **

**Here it goes. The dining room door swung open and Alice walked in with the most mesmerizing woman I had ever seen in my entire life.**

**She had huge, chocolate brown eyes framed by thick lashes, pink cheeks, and beautiful brown hair that hung halfway down her back. But it wasn't just that; she had an amazing presence, and I could tell she was different.**

"**Hi." I managed, standing up and offering her my hand. She blushed deep red immediately, making me smile. I liked seeing a reaction that she couldn't hide.**

"**Hi." She answered, shaking my hand gingerly. "I'm Bella Swan." I felt a small spark of electricity when our hands met. I could tell by the look of surprise on Bella's face that she felt it too.**

"**Edward Cullen." Alice snorted and they both sunk into chairs.**

**Bella sat down across from me, propping her elbows up on the table as Alice dug back into her salad.**

"**She knows who you are, dumbass." I glared at my sister, who just smirked back and took a big bite of her salad.**

"**Bella, do you want anything to eat?" I asked, not sure of what else to say. The moment I spoke, Bella ducked behind her curtain of hair but offered me a small smile.**

"**No, I'm alright. I just had lunch before I came." She said softly. Alice stood up and picked up her plate.**

"**I'll be right back." She said, winking at me. "I have to call Jasper." She walked out of the room, leaving Bella and I in silence.**

"**She's going to be a while." I warned Bella, who laughed.**

**I was mesmerized by the melodic sound of her laugh. **"**I guess you'll have to entertain me." She said lightly, taking a grape off my plate and popping it into her mouth. I couldn't help but stare at her plump, luscious lips for a moment before tearing my gaze to her eyes.**

"**Why don't **_**you **_**entertain **_**me **_**for a change?" I suggested. "Honestly, I'm tired of talking about myself." Bella giggled and I immediately smiled at the sound again.**

"**What do you want me to tell you?" **

"**Anything." I said honestly, taking a bite of my food. "I want to know all about Alice's new best friend." Bella looked down at the table to hide the blush that tinted her cheeks but then looked up at me with an honest expression.**

"**I was born in Forks, Washington. My dad is the chief police there and my mom is an elementary school teacher. They're not exactly what you'd call a happy couple…but I guess it works for them."**

**I nodded, although I had no idea what that was like. My parents, Esme and Carlisle, seemed to fall even more in love every day. They were the epitome of the word **_**soulmates**_**. **"**How old are you?" I prompted her, wanting to know more.**

"**I just turned 22 last week. You're 25, right?"**

"**Yep. Just a few months ago, actually. June 20." I answered. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked, a bit bluntly, making Bella look down at the table again.**

**I felt bad for asking like that, but I wanted to know. I wanted to ask Bella Swan out on a date, and I had just met her. How crazy was that? **"**I just broke up with my boyfriend Mike when I moved to LA." She murmured, not looking up. "We just moved a few weeks ago." She explained. "I still live with my parents." Bella added. Then her eyes pierced mine ago, making me inhale sharply. "Do you always show so much interest in your sisters friends?" She asked, making **_**me **_**blush.**

"**Definitely not." I admitted. "But maybe we should have dinner sometime. Just the two of us."**

**Bella's eyes lit up, and I smiled at that. **"**Like a date?" She squeaked, obviously surprised.**

"**Exactly like a date." I answered sveltely. "What do you say?" Bella studied me for a moment; then allowed a very small smile.**

"**Sure. I'd like that." She held out her hand. "I'll give you my number." I fished my blackberry out of my pocket and dropped it in her palm. "You have a lot of contacts." She commented, punching her number in. "Over 300? Geez." **

"**I know a lot of people." I shrugged as she handed my phone back to me. Alice reappeared at that second, a scheming look in her hazel eyes. **

"**You ready to go?" She asked Bella, slinging her purse over her shoulder. Bella and I both stood, and I walked them to the door. Bella stumbled on the doormat, and I caught her reflexively. The first thought that crossed my mind was how good and **_**right **_**she felt in my arms. It was like she belonged there.**

"**Thank you." She muttered, blushing.**

"**Anytime." I winked, and Alice practically pulled her out the door.**

**I would have to get to know Bella Swan.**

-----

**A/N: So I'll be gone tomorrow, and not sure if I can update again tonight. You'll have to check and see!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	6. Chapter 6

**Once again, I'm leaving for Indiana tomorrow morning bright and early and won't have my internet connection back until Sunday night. **

I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have to be sitting here at my dead fiancée's 'memorial'. But I am.

It has only been a week since the accident, and every day gets harder. I almost lost it when I heard about the memorial service being held at the Staples Center, but Alice and Emmet prompted me to attend. So I'm sitting here in the front row, listening to people eulogize my fiancée. I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped the edge of my seat, refusing to cry in front of thousands of fans and press.

"And now, Edward's girlfriend would like to say something." I stood on shaky legs, mentally cursing Alice for making me wear stilettos. Jasper, noticing my discomfort, got up and helped me up the stairs to the stage; making sure I was steady before rejoining Alice.

"As you all know, Edward and I got engaged two days before the accident." I said in a strong voice, playing with my engagement ring. "I couldn't wait to start my life with him, and I was ready for our life together to take off." It was getting harder to speak. "Edward was such an amazing, sensitive person. He loved his career and he loved his fans. He was the best man any woman could ever hope for." I choked out, pausing to wipe away my tears. "And he was my everything." I managed before breaking down in tears. Emmet made his way up to me and helped me off the stage, kissing my forehead and whispering words of encouragement.

It wasn't Edward's death I want to remember. It's his _life_ I never want to forget.

**Flashback- Nerves:**

"**I still don't see why he wants to do this." I blabbed as Alice did my makeup. "We've only gone on one date, and he wants me to meet the parents?" Alice rolled her eyes and continued to apply my makeup.**

"**Please, Bella. You and I both know that was more than a date." She scoffed. "Edward couldn't stop talking about you last night. Here's your dress." She extracted a black silk gown from a garment bag and held it out to me. "It drove me crazy." She added.**

"**What did?" I asked; distracted as I stripped down and pulled the dress on over my head.**

"**Edward talking about you last night!" Alice stomped her foot, exasperated. "He wouldn't shut up. Said something about being mad at me for not introducing the two of you earlier." I couldn't contain the smile that spread across my lips, and Alice squealed. "You like him too!" She exclaimed, hopping up and down.**

"**Obviously, Alice. I've agreed to meet his parents after one date." I pointed out.**

"**Yeah, but you wouldn't admit it earlier." Alice huffed, stepping back to examine her handiwork on me. "You look perfect." She sighed, and then checked her watch. "And Edward will be here in ten minutes." She pecked my cheek. "I'll see you at my parent's house!" She called over her shoulder as she left the room.**

**I tried to take deep breaths as I sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for Edward to show up. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.**

**I was going out with Edward Cullen, who was arguably one of Hollywood's hottest and most sought after guys. He wanted me to meet his parents, and he, apparently, couldn't stop talking about me.**

**A good sign, right?**

**It wasn't long before Edward showed up and whisked me into his car, not taking his eyes off me. Usually, the attention would make me extremely uncomfortable, but not with Edward. Everything felt so….right and natural with him. It was like I had known him for years.**

"**Bella, I don't want you to worry." Edward was saying, softly stroking my hand. "My parents are extremely excited to meet you and are very welcoming people."**

"**Good." I breathed. "I was really nervous earlier." I admitted, and Edward chuckled.**

"**Earlier? Not now?" He questioned, his eyes darting from the road to my face.**

"**It's easier now." I explained, embarrassed. "Because I'm with you now." I added, and Edward's face lit up.**

"**We're here." He said softly, nodding to a towering apartment building.**

"**Your parents live **_**here**_**?" I asked, craning my neck. "In an apartment building? Isn't it hard for you to visit them? Don't they get mobbed by paparazzi and reporters?" Edward shrugged and took my arm, escorting me into the lobby.**

"**I suppose they do sometimes. But they don't mind." He explained, pressing the button for the elevator. "And the people in this building are very understanding. They aren't like the crazy fans you see everywhere. They're excited to see me, but they don't go crazy." He elaborated once the elevator arrived. Three teenager girls exited the elevator, gawking at Edward but not causing a scene.**

"**Case and point." Edward murmured as we stepped into the now empty elevator. "My parents live in the penthouse." He said conversationally. **

"**Wow." I sighed, resting my head against his arm. "I bet it's beautiful." Edward was staring at me now, a strangely peaceful smile on his face.**

"**It's not much." He shrugged, a sly smile playing on his lips. "Nothing compared to you, anyway." He added, making me blush tomato red.**

**-----**

**A/N: When I get back, the next chapter will be Bella meeting the parents, and Edward meeting hers. I had to stop this chapter here; it's past midnight and I'm exhausted.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	7. Chapter 7

**I haven't had my internet connection and it's been driving me **_**crazy**_**! I'm making this chapter longer because of the wait! So here's that update……**

**P.S. I am making this a happy update, because, in my opinion, the next few are really sad. But they are all very important.**

**Flashback- Meeting the Parents:**

**My heart was beating so fast I felt like it was going to burst out of my ribcage. I peered up at Edward and he offered me a small, crooked smile; making me turn to jelly.**

"**Nervous?" He chuckled as the elevator neared the penthouse.**

"**You have no idea." I breathed, gripping his hand tightly. "What if they don't like me?"**

"**They'll adore you, Bella. It's impossible not to." Edward said easily. "And if they don't, to hell with them." I looked at him in panic, and he hastily corrected himself. "But they **_**will**_** love you." He amended, and the elevator doors opened, right in front of a door. "Ready?" Edward wrapped an arm around me and steered me towards the door. But before either of us could knock, the door was swung open.**

"**Edward! Bella!" A stunning, caramel haired woman launched herself into Edward's free arm, kissing his cheek before hugging him fiercely. "When Alice told me you'd been home for a week now and hadn't come for a visit, I didn't know **_**what **_**to think." She said, looking coyly from Edward to me. "But now I know it was time well spent." I blushed and the woman held her arms out to me. **

"**Bella, this is my mother." Edward offered, realizing my confusion and slight discomfort. **

"**It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen." I said politely before stepping in for her hug. I was surprised such a small woman could dole out such a fierce hug, but then again, she was Alice's mother.**

"**Esme, dear. Mrs. Cullen was my mother-in-law." She said good-naturedly, pulling Edward and I deeper into the apartment. "Carlisle! They're here!" Esme called. "And it's very nice to meet you too, Bella." She added as we approached the living room. "Sit down!" She cried, gesturing to one of the two plush couches. Esme herself sat on the couch across from us, studying the two of us.**

**I was suddenly very aware of Edward's hand on the small of my back, but I didn't move from his touch.**

"**So, Bella. Where did you go to school?" Esme asked, getting up and moving to the drink cart in the corner. **

"**Uh, the University of Seattle." I said. "I got my degree in creative writing."**

"**What an interesting career." Esme prattled. "I've always been so interested in writing, but I haven't done as much of it was I wish I did." She turned back to the cart. "A drink, dear?" She asked, gesturing to the assortment of bottles. "I have everything."**

"**I'll have scotch." Edward offered. "Neat."**

"**And I'll have…wine." I finally said, unsure. I never really drank much.**

"**Red or white?" Esme asked, holding up two bottles.**

"**Red?" I guessed.**

"**I'll have the same as Edward." A smooth voice said from the doorway. An attractive blonde man with a chiseled jaw entered the room and smiled at me. "You must be Bella." He said, holding out his hand. I half stood to shake it.**

"**This is my father, Carlisle." Edward said, getting up to hug his father. Esme returned to the couch, handing each of us our drinks. "Isn't Alice coming?" Edward asked, setting his drink down on the table after taking a small drink.**

"**She'll be here for dinner." Esme said. "And she's bringing Jasper."**

**I smiled a little to myself. Alice had only been going out with Jasper for ten months, but the two of them were nearly inseparable whenever they were together. But Jasper is in the army, so their time together is scarce. **

"**That's nice." Carlisle murmured, setting his drink down as well.**

"**Bella was just telling me she graduated from the University of Seattle with a degree in creative writing." Esme told her husband, all the while smiling at me.**

"**That must have interested you, dear." Carlisle laughed. Edward chuckled as well and I looked to him in confusion.**

"**My mother was a writer before my parents got married." Edward explained. **

"**I always wanted to continue, but I was just too busy with Edward and Alice underfoot." Esme shrugged. "I only published one book. It was silly, actually. A vampire falls in love with a human girl….there were even some werewolves in the story, too. I had a lot of imagination." She waved her hands around dramatically. **

**My mind slowly registered as I realized what book she was talking about.**

"_**You're **_**Esme Platt?" I asked, stunned.**

"**The one and only." Esme grinned.**

"**I **_**loved **_**that book." I gushed. "It was so romantic!" Esme laughed.**

"**Thank you, Bella." She winked at her son. "Maybe you could pick up some pointers from the book, dear." She suggested; a teasing glint in her eye. **

"**I don't think he needs any pointers." I said, and Edward wrapped both his arms around me in a warm hug. "He's very romantic. And courteous. You taught him well." Esme was beaming at us now; her entire face lighting up.**

"**Well that's a very good thing." She paused for a moment, slipping her hand into Carlisle's. "And you've only been on **_**one**_** date?" She asked incredulously, looking at the way Edward and I held each other.**

"**Just the one." I said lightly. "Last night." Esme's eyes widened a bit but her smile never faltered.**

"**The way you two **_**act **_**around each other….it's amazing. You have so much **_**chemistry.**_**" She gushed.**

"**I suppose that's a good thing." Edward said, planting a kiss on my forehead.**

"**It's a very good thing." Esme corrected him. At that moment, Alice bounded in the room, dragging Jasper behind her.**

"**We're here!" She called, practically spewing excitement. "And I brought pastries from the bakery you love, mom." Esme and Carlisle both stood to greet their daughter, and so did Edward and I. As I hugged Jasper, he whispered something in my ear.**

"**You'll get used to all the….excitement." He promised. "I did."**

"**Thank god." I teased as we all sat back down.**

"**What are you two whispering about?" Esme called as she got Alice and Jasper their drinks. "The crazy antics of the Cullen family?" **

"**You have no idea, Esme." Jasper laughed as she handed him his drink and Alice playfully swatted his forehead. "I was just telling Alice my news on our way over." He said in a serious voice, changing to subject. Alice was clutching his arm. "I don't have to go to Iraq this year. I'm being stationed in New York instead."**

"**That's great, Jasper." Carlisle congratulated him.**

"**Yes, well there's more." Alice interrupted. "Jasper wants me to go with him." I felt my heart constrict a little at the thought of my best friend leaving, but I kept my mouth shut. I noticed the way Edward's jaw clenched and how his eyes hardened at the thought of his baby sister moving across the country with her boyfriend.**

"**Alice, are you sure…" Esme started to protest, but Alice held up her hand.**

"**Still more." She said sharply, and her mother fell silent. "I won't be going as his girlfriend. I'll be going as his **_**wife**_**." Edward was clenching his fist so tight it looked like all circulation had been cut off. Everyone was silent as Alice looked at us expectantly. "That's it."**

"**Alice, dear, I'm so happy for you." Esme said carefully. "But you and Jasper haven't even been dating for a year, don't you think-"**

"**Esme, with all due respect, why put off the inevitable?" Jasper cut her off. "Alice and I are soul mates. I feel like I've known her my entire life, and I want to be with her for the rest of my life." **

**We were all silent again, until Edward spoke in a harsh voice. **

"**Jasper, can I talk to you?" He asked shortly, standing up. **

"**Edward, don't-" Alice started, but Edward shot her a glare.**

"**I just want to talk to him." Edward insisted as Jasper finished off his drink and stood up, following Edward out of the room. **

"**Maybe you should go with them." Esme suggested, patting her husband's hand. Carlisle stood and followed the boys without another word.**

"**Why can't you be happy for me?" Alice asked softly.**

"**Oh, honey. I **_**am **_**happy for you. This is amazing. I just want to make sure this is what you really want. You don't have to get married, you could just live together in New York." Esme said in a soothing voice and I gently wrapped my arm around Alice.**

"_**Is**_** this what you want?" I asked, and Alice nodded eagerly.**

"**More than anything." She said enthusiastically, and I hugged her.**

"**Then I'm happy for you." Alice squeaked excitedly and hugged me back in a death grip. **

"**Thank you, Bella. That means a lot. And thanks, mom. I know you just want me to be careful. But I know what I want, and that's Jasper. I want to marry him." We were all tearful at that point, until the door banged open and Edward, Jasper, and Carlisle came in. Edward was holding a bottle of champagne and Carlisle held six champagne flutes.**

"**A toast?" Edward offered, holding up the bottle.**

"**Does this mean-" Alice started excitedly, getting up to face her older brother.**

"**Yes, Alice. This means I approve. I 'give you my blessing', whatever the hell that means." Alice jumped up and down and threw her arms around Edward. She caught my eye and smiled apologetically.**

"**Oh, I'm sorry Bella. Tonight was supposed to be about you." She apologized, dropping her arms.**

"**No, it's alright." I laughed. "I'm more than happy to share the spotlight, Alice. You know that." Everyone laughed and Edward opened the champagne, pouring a glass for everyone. **

"**Jasper's quite persuasive." I said ruefully, shaking my head.**

"**You have no idea." Alice laughed. "Sometimes it's like he can manipulate emotions or something." Edward began doling of the champagne and we raised our glasses for a toast.**

"**To….relationships." Esme offered. "Old and new alike."**

"**Here here." Jasper said before gulping down his glass. I took a tiny sip of mine and made a face. I didn't like the taste very much. Edward had already finished his and had spotted my disgusted expression.**

"**I'll take it." He offered, reaching for my full glass and handing me his empty one. "Overwhelmed?" He whispered in my ear.**

"**A little." I admitted.**

"**Then we can leave." Edward said, drinking my glass of champagne and setting it down after he had finished. "We're supposed to be at your house soon anyway." He turned to his parents. "Bella and I need to get going." He said, kissing his mothers cheek. "We're supposed to meet her parents in a bit." Esme's face fell but she managed a smile.**

"**Oh, alright." She said. "Bella, it was so nice to meet you."**

"**It was nice to meet you too, Esme." I said honestly, not minding when she hugged me. **

**We said our goodbyes and I promised to call Alice about wedding dress shopping, and then we finally made our way back downstairs.**

"**Shit!" Edward suddenly muttered, peering out the lobby doors. A swarm of people were outside, clustered around the doorway. "I'm so sorry, Bella." He said before I finally figured out that it was reporters and paparazzi standing outside, waiting for him. For us.**

"**It's fine." I managed, even though I wasn't looking forward to the slew of questions that would follow our run-in with the press. My heart was already beating erratically. **

"**Just….hold on to me. And look down, or your eyes will start to sting." Edward advised, and I latched onto his side.**

"**I don't mind **_**this**_**." I said suggestively, and Edward leaned down to kiss me. At that moment, the flashes started.**

"**Let's just go." He said gruffly, pushing the door open. **

**It was like my eardrums had exploded. It was impossibly loud, impossible to pick out separate sounds. Everything was just meshed together in a dull roar. And the **_**light**_**. The flashes did burn my eyes and I hung on to Edward for dear life, praying he could successfully navigate his way to the waiting car. Individual screams eventually became noticeable, until I could clearly make out what was being said.**

"**EDWARD! MARRY ME!"**

"**Who's your friend?"**

"**Miss! Were you meeting his parents?"**

"**Are you dating?"**

"**What's your name?"**

**I was surprised at how many questions were directed towards me, but I followed Edward's suggestion; keeping my head down, my eyes half-lidded, and clinging to his side.**

**And then suddenly, it was over.**

**I opened my eyes the rest of the way and saw that we were sitting in the back of his car, hidden behind the tinted windows.**

"**Is it over?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.**

"**Yeah." Edward said shortly, looking out the windows as we drove through the city, passing blurs of people and buildings. "I'm sorry Bella. It's not a very easy thing to get used to, is it?"**

"**Definitely not." I said in a shaky voice. "It's **_**terrifying**_**. All those people….all focused on **_**you**_**. How do you sleep at night?" I pressed my face into his chest in mock terror. But truthfully, I was a little rattled.**

"**I actually haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time." He admitted wistfully. "But since I've been home it's getting better. Being away just messes with my head." We were out of the city now, picking up speed as we made our way out of LA and to the suburb where I lived with my parents.**

"**I don't have that problem." I said lightly, not moving my head from his shoulder. "Wherever I am, I fall asleep like **_**that **_**if I'm tired." We were silent for a moment, and I thought I would bring up a touchy subject. "Edward, do you not want people to know we're dating?" I asked in a small voice.**

"**I thought it best." He finally said, in a slow, quiet voice. "I was thrust into the spotlight not three years ago, and I remember how I went from being nobody to being a celebrity overnight. Overwhelming. Pressuring. Scary." He studied me for a moment, capturing my face in his hands. "I thought you wouldn't want the spotlight." Edward lightly touch his lips to mine, and I sighed in pure relief.**

"**I don't." I confirmed, laughing lightly as our foreheads touched and our eyes locked. "No spotlight. Not right now."**

"**But in the future….." Edward trailed off.**

"**In the future, I'll go anywhere you want. But not until I get used to the overall impact." I decided, settling against his side again.**

"**Deal." Edward laughed, kissing my nose. The car came to a stop and Edward glanced out the window. "Ready?"**

"_**You're **_**the one how should be worried." I teased. "My dad is a cop. He has a gun." Edward rolled his eyes and pulled me up the path to the house.**

"**I think I can take care of myself. But thanks for the concern." We reached the door and Edward rested his hands on my hips.**

"**Kiss." I demanded, stepping on my tip-toes and planting a kiss on his soft lips. "Now, be on your best behavior." I ordered, opening the door with my house key. **

"**I promise." He pouted, looking like a child being scolded by his parents.**

"**Mom? Dad?" I called as Edward and I entered the house.**

"**Hey, sweetie!" My mom popped out of the kitchen and pecked my cheek. She peered up at Edward and blushed. "Are you going to introduce me?"**

"**Oh, uh, yeah." I stuttered, and Edward grinned, lacing his fingers in mine. "Mom, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my mom, Renée."**

"**It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Swan." Edward said smoothly, and started to shake her hand. But instead, my mom hugged him tightly. I suppressed a laugh at the look of surprise on his face. **

"**You call me Renée." My mom insisted, releasing him. "I won't have it any other way." I was surprised. My mom had insisted that Mike, my boyfriend from my junior year of high school through the end of college, call her Mrs. Swan. But Edward was irresistible and impossible to say no to. "Come on in." My mom said when she realized we were all clustered in the small entryway.**

"**Where's dad?" I asked as we walked into the dining room. My mom rolled her eyes.**

"**Staying late at the station. Again." She said bitterly, setting the table and banging down the silverware with unnecessary force. "He **_**knew**_** this was important, and he still-"**

"**Mom." I said in a warning tone, inclining my head towards Edward. He courteously pretended to be very interested in the carpet. She realized her mistake and blushed.**

"**Why don't we eat?" She said in a light voice, bringing the food in from the kitchen and motioning for Edward and I to sit next to each other at the circular table.**

"**This looks wonderful." Edward said, holding my hand under the table.**

"**Thank you." My mother beamed, spooning potatoes onto his plate before offering him a steak. **

"**Suck up." I whispered in his ear, earning a light elbow in the ribs. **

"**Edward, tell me all about your work." My mother gushed. "It sounds so interesting!" Edward smiled peacefully but clenched my hand tighter. I knew he hated to talk about himself.**

"**It's pretty interesting." Edward agreed. "But there really isn't too much to it. The hours are pretty demanding, but I enjoy it." Mom didn't say anything else, so Edward continued. "I just finished my last movie in Vancouver, so I have some time off."**

"**How nice. So, you're staying in LA now?" Mom asked, offering both of us vegetables. We both declined.**

"**Yes. I don't feel up to anymore traveling for the time being." Edward's eyes met mine and he squeezed my hand. "I've got everything I want, right here.**

**-----**

**A/N: So, there's your extra long chapter! Whew, over 3,000 words and over seven pages long! I hope you liked the happiness aspect of it, because the next two are sad, but very important. I know some will be wondering about when Charlie meets Edward, but that will be in future chapters.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	8. Chapter 8

**This song is "You are the Moon" by The Hush Sound. I recommend that you listen to this song, because it is really beautiful and the sound works really well with the chapter. I tweaked some of the lyrics so that they better fit in the story, but it is mostly the same.**

I lay in bed, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, staring at the spot where Edward used to sleep. I hadn't touched his side of the bed, or his pillow. I hadn't moved anything from his cluttered nightstand, and I hadn't even moved his striped tie from the window seat. I remember he had worn that on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and I had tied it for him.

Alice and Emmet had both called multiple times in an attempt to get me out of the house, but I had no desire to leave. I was afraid that if I left, I would come back and everything would be different. I could _feel _Edward in the house; his presence was overpowering and calming. He was still here with me.

I blinked and suddenly I saw him. Standing by the doorway with his back against the wall; smiling at me. Unnatural shadows swirled around him as he stepped closer to me. "Edward." I whispered, getting up and holding my arms around to him. "I feel so alone, Edward." I cried as his arms encircled around me. "I miss you. Do you miss me?" He merely nodded as we stood together, locked in a warm embrace. "You're so close….but we're so far apart." I was being kept from him by the one thing I could never change. I was alive and living, but he was dead and gone.

**Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark**

**Emerging from the gentle grip of nights unfolding arms**

**Darkness, darkness, everywhere, do you feel all alone?  
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone**

"You were everything." I murmured. "You were my light. The only thing keeping me from darkness." I sobbed. Edward's hand ran through my hair, but he didn't speak. "Don't you see how important you were to me? How _beautiful _you were?" I suppressed a sob and turned to bury my face in Edward's chest.

**You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear**

**It floods the sky and blurs the darkness, like a chandelier**

**All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas**

**The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe**

"You're gone." I whispered clinging to him. "But you don't have to leave." I was sobbing now, a complete mess. "Stay with me!" I begged, sinking to the floor. Edward slid down next to me, holding me against him. "Why can't you see how important you were to me? Can't you see how much I need you?" Edward's lips traveled up my jaw and to my ear, his breath cold. "Please don't leave me again."

"Let go, Bella." He whispered, and I closed my eyes. "Just….let me go." I opened my eyes, and he was gone.

**I will bring the mirror, so silver, so exact**

**So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass**

**I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky**

**So you can see your beauty every morning that you rise**

I stayed on the floor, staring straight ahead. I needed to feel him again. I started to climb into bed and was suddenly overwhelmed with the emotions that overcame me. I gently ran my hand over Edward's side of the bed, skimming the surface. Electricity surged through my arm, and I shuddered. How many times had we slept here, snuggled together? Made love in this very bed? Talked for hours, not bothering to sleep?

I stood up as fast as I could and bolted down the hall, bursting into the first door I came to. I almost threw up when I realized what room I was in. Edward's office. I fell to the floor, sobbing and curling up into a ball.

I don't know how long I stayed there, but I eventually fell asleep and woke up still huddled on the floor. Legs shaking, I stood and looked around. I never went in Edward's office. It was pretty boring, simple and basic. A desk sat in the corner, with a laptop in the corner. Almost every inch of the far wall was covered in pictures, mostly of the two of us. I smiled and ran my hands over the smooth, perfect glass.

In the first and most recent picture, Edward stood behind me and slightly to my left, his arms wrapped around me. I was smiling at the camera, a serene look in my eyes. But Edward wasn't looking at the camera, he was looking down at me with the most…_loving_ expression I had ever seen. Blinking back tears, I looked at the next picture.

We were in Disney World, riding the Rock n' Roller coaster at MGM. We were both screaming and clutching hands. I smiled at the happy memories and moved to the next.

The premiere we had gone public at. Edward was whispering something in my ear, both of us oblivious to everyone around us. I was looking up at him, amused, a smile playing on my lips. Then the next, and the next, and the next.

Edward and I at Relay for Life, proudly walking around the track. Well, Edward was walking, and I was content in his arms, both of us laughing. I remembered Rosalie had been the one to take the picture.

Emmet, Rosalie, Edward, and I at the St. Louis Science Center, posing goofily with the dinosaur exhibit.

The two of us playing in the play park at McDonalds.

Esme, Carlisle, Edward, and I on the deck of the Cullen's yacht. I was sitting on Edward's lap, and he was putting a captains hat on my head.

Edward and I in Millennium Park, kissing in front of the fountain; my legs wrapped around his waist.

Edward spinning me around in the air at Six Flags.

Several candid shots of the two of us at Alice's wedding. Me feeding Edward a bite of cake, Edward playfully covering my eyes as Jasper took Alice's garter off, Edward licking frosting off my fingers, me dancing on Edward's feet.

All of the Cullen's, plus me, Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie in Las Vegas, smiling broadly as we all played blackjack together. Edward had won most of the hands, and I had lost terribly.

Edward and I both kissing Shamu's head at Sea World, both of us in wet suits and drenched.

It felt terrible to remember all these things when all I wanted was the man I had shared these experiences with. Edward. I wanted Edward, nothing more.

**A/N: I really wanted to describe some photos here to relay the relationship between Edward and Bella.** **I know this chapter was a bit confusing so message me or review with anything you need to know if you have any questions. I always reply to messages!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	9. Chapter 9

**Whew! These chapters are longer than the ones I usually write! **

I need something to do.

I've been sitting alone, by myself in this house, for three weeks. The phone rings, but I don't bother to answer. Alice comes by every so often with Jasper, but I usually refuse to come out of our room. But today was different. I was lonelier than ever before, and I needed someone, even if I couldn't have the one I needed most.

"Bella? Can we come in today? Or can you come out?" Alice rapped on our bedroom door, expecting me to refuse. But I stood up and pulled the door open. Alice and Jasper stood there, looking stunned that I had even opened the door. "Oh, baby." Alice cried, staring me up and down. "You look terrible."

"Thanks, Alice." I muttered, my voice raspy. I pulled Edwards grey robe tighter around me and sighed. "I guess we could go downstairs." I said grudgingly. Jasper gripped my elbow as we went down the stairs.

"How are you doing?" He asked, his eyes mournful.

"Not so great. I said shortly as we reached the kitchen. Alice was picking through the meager contents of the fridge in dismay. "But better than before." I sat down at the bar and laid my head down on the cool granite. Jasper started to massage my tense neck and Alice set a carton of ice cream in front of me.

"Eat." She ordered, shoving a spoon in my hand. "You look like you've lost ten pounds since I last saw you. When was the last time you had an _actual_ meal?"

"I dunno. A couple of days ago I had Chinese." I said dully. "And the delivery guy gave me extra fortune cookies."

"Score." Alice muttered, producing a sponge from under the sink and started to scrub at the countertop. "Bella, hasn't the maid been here?" She asked, wrinkling her nose at the grim in the microwave.

"No, I gave her some time off." I said, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. Alice and Jasper exchanged a look and Alice walked around the bar and put her arm around me.

"How do you feel about going out today?" She asked hopefully. "Get your mind off things?" I could think of a million excuses, but I decided against them. Alice had been amazing this past month, I could give her this. And she had lost Edward too, not just me.

"Fine. Just let me get showered and dressed." I sighed, stumbling upstairs.

After a hot shower and clean clothes, I felt better. Running a brush through my curls, I dashed down the stairs. "I'm ready." I said flatly, rejoining Alice and Jasper in the kitchen.

"Great." Alice said cheerfully. "We thought we'd go on the yacht today, the weather is absolutely perfect." My heart sunk a little and I turned my face away from Alice, not wanting her to see the tears that pooled in my eyes. The last time I had been on the yacht was when Edward and I had told his parents about our engagement. Alice roughly took my chin in her hand and forced me to face her. "Bella, you need this. You need to let go."

She was right. I could mourn, but I shouldn't be shutting everyone out like this.

"OK. I'm sorry." I muttered, picking up my purse.

"Don't be sorry, Bella." Jasper said calmly. "Just try and have some fun and forget about things."

Yeah, right. Like I could ever forget about Edward.

-----

**Flashback- We're Engaged:**

"**So is this ok? Do I look like the future Mrs. Edward Cullen?" I asked, posing in my blue sundress at the foot of the stairs.**

"**Definitely." He grinned, kissing me fiercely. "I'm tempted to take you upstairs and keep you to myself for the rest of the night." I lost my breath at those words.**

"**Edward, I want-" I breathed, running my hands through his hair.**

"**Bella." Edward said seriously. "I'll have to forgo my temptations, because this is important. We're telling my parents." He studied me for a moment before guiding me out the door and to the car. "Are you seriously nervous?" Edward laughed as we got in the car. "My parents **_**love **_**you. They will be ecstatic to have you as a part of our family. Officially, that is. My mother has considered you her daughter for years now."**

"**It's a big deal, Edward." I snapped. "Of course I'm nervous." I knew how harsh my voice was, but I didn't bother to soften it. Edward held up his hands guiltily and leaned away from me for a moment. "And it doesn't matter how your parents feel about me, it's how they feel about us getting married that matters. Why can't you realize that?"**

"**I don't want to fight." He said in a low voice. "I want tonight to be perfect." I was silent for a moment, waiting until I was calm again.**

"**I know." I said softly. "And I'm sorry, I'm just worried about what they'll think." Edward smiled and pulled me closer to his side. **

"**Love, I think they already know." He said quietly, reaching under the seat and placing a weathered magazine on my lap. "I'm sorry, I should have shown you this earlier. It just came out this morning, I have no idea how the story got out so fast."**

**I groaned at the headline.**

"**Edward Cullen Engaged?" And below it was a picture of Edward and I at Taco Bell after the fundraiser. We were still dressed up; Edward in his tux and me in my formal gown. And my hand rested on the table, foolishly flashing my engagement ring.**

"**Read the story." Edward said softly. "Page 64."**

"**Is Edward Cullen, everyone's favorite movie star, marrying girlfriend of three years Isabella Swan? The pair left a fundraiser early last night, and Miss Swan's ring finger was bare. But a mere hour later, the couple were seen having a casual dinner at a local Taco Bell, and Miss Swan was flashing some serious bling on her ring finger. The diamond in question is from Tiffany's, a fourteen carat, cushion cut engagement ring (according to Tiffany's consultant). Edward and Bella have been dating for a little over three years, and Bella is already close with his family members and they have been living together for almost two years. "Edward is completely devoted to Bella. He's never felt this way about anyone before, and he's been considering marriage for a few months now." A source says-"**

**I stopped reading and looked up at Edward; raising my eyebrows.**

"**Your parents have seen this?" I asked, dropping the magazine on his lap. He nodded. "And my mom… I have to tell her before she sees this." I was in a complete panic now, flipping my phone open and starting to dial my mother's number.**

"**Bella, love, calm down." He said, gently taking my phone away. "We can tell your mother in person, alright?" I took a deep breath and gently touched my engagement ring.**

"**Alright. Let me call her though; I'll ask her if we can come over tonight." Edward dropped the phone back in my palm and sighed.**

"**And your dad?" He asked quietly, knowing this was a touchy subject for me. **

"**We can tell him later." I mumbled, dialing my mother's phone number. Straight to voicemail. I put on a cheery voice to leave my message.**

"**Hey, mom, it's Bella. Edward and I wondered if we could come over tonight for a bit. So, uh, call me back as soon as you get home." I hung up and Edward laughed.**

"**You handled that well. See, there was no reason to be nervous."**

"**Yeah, but we haven't actually told her the news yet, silly." I pointed out; looking out the window. We were nearing the dock. Edward reached for my hand and brought it to his mouth, gently kissing my palm and then my engagement ring.**

"**It's going to be fine, Bella. Everyone is going to be happy for us." He promised as the car came to stop at the dock. I could see the yacht in the distance. "Breathe." Edward reminded me before kissing me passionately.**

"**That's hard to do when you **_**dazzle**_** me." I said once I regained my breath.**

"**I dazzle you?" Edward teased as we walked to the dock.**

"**Frequently." I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm.**

"**I'll keep that in mind." He said jauntily, taking my elbow as I climbed onto the yacht. **

"**You're so full of yourself." I giggled.**

"**Hey kids!" Esme had spotted us and immediately pulled both of us into a hug. "Is it true?" She asked excitedly, grabbing for my left hand. "Alice!" She called, a huge grin on her face. "Carlisle!" They both appeared and I couldn't contain the grin on my face. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist; smiling hugely as well. **

"**Holy shit!" Alice squealed when she saw my ring finger. She and Esme began squealing together and Alice threw her arms around both Edward and I. "Tell me **_**everything**_**." She ordered, pulling us to the couch. "When did it happen?"**

"**Last night." I said happily. **

"**So the magazine was right for a change." Alice mused, a smile on her lips. "Interesting." She took my hand again and examined my ring. "Damn, Edward. How many carats is this?" I shifted uncomfortably and Carlisle laughed.**

"**14." Edward said simply, taking the drink Carlisle offered him. I declined mine.**

"**It's beautiful." Esme said happily, patting my hand. "Bella, we're so happy to have you in our family. You've made Edward so happy." I blushed and Edward kissed my temple.**

"**Can I plan your wedding?" Alice asked eagerly. "I have the most romantic location in mind."**

"**Whoa, Alice." Edward interjected. "Take it easy; we haven't even set a date yet." Alice pouted and Carlisle put his arm around his daughter's shoulders. **

"**Welcome to the family, Bella." He said cheerfully, and I got up to hug him. Carlisle was such a comforting person, and extremely easy to get along with. "We're happy to have you." **

"**Thank you." I said, and hugged Alice and Esme again.**

**Everything in my life was working out beautifully.**

**-----**

**Aw. Now, I need your guys' help. Bella is (eventually) going to start dating someone, but who should it be? Emmet, Jacob, or someone else entirely? Please review with some feedback and your opinion.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	10. Chapter 10

**I've decided who Bella will start dating! But that won't be revealed until the next couple of chapters.**

"Hey, Bella." Emmet's voice from the doorway startled me and I jumped slightly.

"Hi." I said, then turned my head to gaze out the window again. I was perched on the window seat in our bedroom, holding Edward's tie tightly in my fist. Emmet was hesitating in the doorway still, watching me.

"Can I come in?" He asked quietly.

"Uh, sure. Just…don't touch anything." I answered just as quietly. Emmet complied and came over to my side, standing above me.

"How are you doing?" Emmet asked, kissing my forehead in greeting. "Your phone isn't working." I wordlessly motioned to the pieces of my cell phone that now were scattered across my floor. "Oh." He said, scratching the back of his neck. "You look like you haven't slept in a while." I nodded and Emmet looked down at the window seat. "Can I sit down?" He asked, motioning to the empty spot next to me.

"No." I said shortly. "Nobody can sit there." I felt my hysteria rise. "_Edward_ sat there." I stood up and threw my arms around Emmet, shaking with unshed tears. Emmet ran his hand through my hair comfortingly and let me cry, ruining his shirt.

I finished crying and looked up at him. I had never realized how beautiful his eyes were. And his dimples. There was something so….innocent about his features, despite his muscular frame. Without thinking, I stood on my tip-toes, leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. He was still for a moment, then his lips responded. We tangled together for a moment, then Emmet wrenched away from me.

"Oh my god, Bella! I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-" Emmet began, looking mortified.

"Wait." I whispered, kissing him again. I pulled back, disappointed.

"Nothing." Emmet said softly, touching my lips with his thumb. I shook my head.

"Nothing." I agreed. "I just thought….maybe-" Emmet held his hand over my mouth.

"You don't have to explain, Bella. I can't imagine what these last two months have been like."

"It's been hell." I replied. "Please go, Emmet. I feel like-"

"Like you're cheating on him?" Emmet asked. I nodded.

"I can't help it." I said softly, looking at the tie I still held tightly in my hand. "I can still _feel _him. He's not gone, he's still here. Somewhere." Emmet nodded and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"You'll be fine, Bella. You're strong." He murmured, and looked at the tie in my hand. "Just don't hold on to him forever. You're young, you shouldn't give up yet. I love you." He kissed my forehead.

"I love you too, Emmet." I said, and watched him walk away.

I waited for the sound of the front door slamming shut, then collapsed onto the window seat, defeated. What was wrong with me? I kissed _Emmet_? He's been like a brother to me for years. And he was one of Edward's best friends. At least I hadn't planted one on Jasper. I hugged my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, letting my forehead press against the cool window pane.

I suddenly felt a familiar pair of arms around me and I leaned my head back, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "Can you forgive me?" I felt his lips on my neck and sighed. He took my hands and squeezed them tightly.

"Yes." Edward said softly. But it didn't sound like him; his voice was hoarse and sharp. "I want you to be happy, love."

"I'm not happy without you." I responded. Edward sighed and twirled a piece of hair around his finger.

"You're making this difficult." He breathed, skimming his nose against my jaw. I didn't respond, just leaned into his body more. I closed my eyes, and fell asleep within seconds. When I woke up, I was alone on the window seat, and Edward's tie was still in my hand.

**Flashback- Alice's Wedding:**

"**This suit is so damn uncomfortable." Edward growled, fiddling with his tie.**

"**Try wearing this." I motioned to the skin tight green dress Alice had selected for me. "And these." I kicked up my foot to reveal the stilettos I wore. "Much more uncomfortable." Edward's look softened.**

"**Sorry. I'm just freaking out. Alice, my baby sister, getting **_**married.**_**" Edward sighed, wrapping his arms around me. "It doesn't seem real." **

"**I know. But she's happy." I reminded him. Edward snorted.**

"**She doesn't know what happiness is." He said quietly, and I recoiled, moving away from him. **

"**How can you say that?" I asked, my eyes wide. "You've seen her with Jasper, Edward. She **_**is **_**happy." Edward smiled and pulled me into his arms again.**

"**Alice lives in the moment, love. She's happy one moment, then she wants something different. No planning ahead, no thinking about the consequences." Edward explained.**

"**Jasper changed that." I argued. "He's the practical one, the one that balances her out. He knows the consequences, and he wouldn't have asked her to marry him if he wasn't sure she was completely ready for this." Edward chuckled. "What?!" I snapped.**

"**You're sexy when you get all defensive." Edward laughed and kissed the nape of my neck. **

"**I'll have to remember that." I said irritably, trying not to lose my train of thought. That was pointless. Edward spun me around gently and his lips met mine, and I completely forgot what I was going to say. He won arguments too easily.**

"**You….stop **_**dazzling**_** me!" I laughed when his lips trailed to my ear. **

"**Hey lovebirds, we need to get going." Emmet popped his head in the door. "Alice said something about being 23 seconds behind schedule, and I sure as hell am not going to keep her waiting any longer the necessary." **

"**Wimp." I giggled as Edward and I followed him to the hall outside the room. I could hear the music start up, and Alice appeared out of nowhere. "Aw, Alice, you look-" I started to coo, but she cut me off.**

"**Get going!" She snapped, bouncing up and down happily. "One minute, ten seconds!"**

"**Oh, how could I forget?" Edward teased, and Alice whacked him with her bouquet. "Ow." He pouted, and I kissed the spot on his head where she had smacked him. **

"**Go!" She chirped, and the doors started to open. Edward hurriedly leaned forward and kissed his sister's cheek before taking my arm. **

"**Ready?" He asked, and I nodded. "Let's get this over with." Edward sighed, and we started to walk down the aisle. **

**Alice had kept the wedding small, for her. 200 guests gathered inside the room, which smelled intoxicatingly of flowers. Edward and I reached the altar, where we were expected to go our separate ways. But Edward sneaked a kiss in before standing next to Jasper at the altar. I blushed and ducked my head before standing in my spot.**

**Rosalie and Emmet were next, each of them smiling broadly. Emmet stood next to Jasper and Edward while Rosalie slid into place next me. **

**Alice and Carlisle were next, and Alice looked breathtakingly beautiful. Her long white dress hugged her tiny frame perfectly. I saw Jasper's look of pure adoration and smiled. Edward wasn't looking at Alice though. He was staring at me, the look in his eyes unfamiliar. A light smile played on his lips, and his eyes were wistful and…some other emotion I couldn't place. He caught me staring at him and winked before turning his attention to his little sister; who had almost reached the altar.**

**Carlisle kissed his only daughters cheek before releasing her to Jasper. We all sunk into our seats; already tearful. Carlisle slid his arm around Esme, who was dabbing at her eyes. I sat on her other side and held her hand as we watched Jasper and Alice take the ultimate step in their relationship.**

"**Do you, Mary Alice Cullen, take Jasper Brandon Whitlock to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, until death parts you?"**

"**I do." Was Alice's cheerful answer. I could just make out her shoe tapping under her dress and suppressed a laugh. She was so impatient.**

**  
"And do you, Jasper Brandon Whitlock, take Mary Alice Cullen to be your lawfully wedded wide? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, until death parts you?"**

"**I do." Jasper murmured, his voice thick with emotion. Esme let out a little whimper and squeezed my hand tightly.**

"**I now pronounce you husband and wife; Mr. and Mrs. Jasper Whitlock. You may kiss the bride."Alice and Jasper's finger laced together and Alice grinned.**

"**You've kept me waiting." I heard her accuse him, a smile stretched across her face.**

"**I'm sorry, ma'am." He blushed and she threw her arms around him and their lips locked. They broke apart to applause and Edward was standing in front of me in an instant; his hand outstretched.**

"**I missed you." I said, hugging him. Edward laughed but squeezed me tighter, resting his chin on my shoulder. **

"**I missed you too, beautiful." I saw Emmet pretend to gag over Edward's shoulder and I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath of Edward's scent before he released me. "Now , love, let's not be difficult." He scolded when I stuck out my bottom lip; pouting. I stuck out my lip further and Edward groaned, leaning over to kiss me again. He surprised me by gently running his tongue against my lip; silently asking for entry. Before I could respond I felt a hand on my arm.**

"**Mom!" I blushed. I had forgotten that my mother had been invited Alice's wedding. She had seen the whole passionate embrace; but let it slide. I was just happy Charlie wasn't here.**

"**Hey, baby!" She gave me a quick hug and smiled at Edward. "You look quite handsome in a suit!" She said cheerfully, and he hugged her. **

"**Thank you, Renée. But this was all Alice." He explained, touching the green tie that perfectly matched his eyes. **

"_**I **_**like it." I said coyly, adjusting his tie. "You look perfect in a suit!" Edward rolled his eyes and Renée smiled. "Why don't we get you to the reception and get you some alcohol?" I teased. "I bet that'll make you feel better." Rennee laughed again and went off to talk to Esme.**

"**I know exactly what I need to make me feel better." He whispered huskily in my ear, running his hands down my body.**

**-----**

**A/N: I needed to put that Emmet part in! I love it!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	11. Chapter 11

**I still can't decide if Bella should date Emmet or Jacob (and yes, Emmet is still dating Rosalie, which is one of the 'cons' on his list)! P.S. I just uploaded a brand new story, yay! It's called 'Strain' and is on my page.**

**Flashback- Charlie vs. Edward:**

**Edward was silent, tracing patterns onto my bare back with his cool fingertips. He usually wasn't so quiet.**

"**What's wrong?" I asked, rolling over so we were facing each other. His lips were drawn as he pulled me against him.**

"**How long have we been dating?" Edward asked quietly; almost inquisitively.**

"**Four months next week." I answered automatically, looking up at him through my lashes. He still refused to look directly at me.**

"**Is there a reason you **_**refuse **_**to let me meet your friends? Or your father?" Edward asked, finally meeting my eyes. He looked hurt.**

"**Edward…." I began, then realized I had no good explanation. "I, uh, thought you didn't like too much attention." I said lamely.**

"**I don't." Edward agreed, lazily circling my belly button with his thumb. "But meeting your friends wouldn't be 'too much attention'. I feel like I'm taking you away from them….when was the last time you saw Angie?"**

"**Angela." I corrected. "And it wasn't that long ago."**

"_**How long**_**?" Edward persisted.**

"**I dunno." I lied. "Maybe four weeks." Edward stiffened.**

"**See? I am keeping you from your friends." He said softly.**

"**Alice is my friend. And Emmet and Rosalie and Jasper." I pointed out. "And I see them all the time."**

"**You used to have other friends." Edward pointed out grudgingly. "And I'm sure they miss you, why don't you call them up?" I sighed and rested my forehead on his bare stomach. **

"**Fine." I groaned, getting up and pulling on Edward's shirt from last night and a pair of his boxers from the drawer. "I'll go call them now." I called on my way out of the room, glad I had evaded the one question I really didn't want to answer.**

"**Love? I haven't forgotten about your father!" Edward called once I reached the stairs. "I still need to meet him!" His voice was mockingly cheerful and I couldn't help but smile. I easily found my phone on the kitchen table, where I had left it last night. Just as I was about to dial Angela's number, and sharp knock at the front door distracted me.**

"**Edward? Could you get that?" I shouted. "I'm on the phone!" I heard his groan and then his footsteps on the stairs. Angela didn't answer her phone. Well, it was only eight on a Saturday morning.**

"**Hey Angela, it's Bella. I haven't seen you or Mike or Jessica or Jacob in ages and I thought maybe we could all hang out sometime. Just call me back." I hung up and heard quiet voices from the entryway.**

"**Bella, could you come here?" Edward called, his voice somewhat amused.**

"**Sure." I answered, padding down the hallway and almost barreling into my father when I reached the entryway.**

"**Morning, Bells." My father said in a deathly tone. I realized all too late that I was wearing a pair of Edward's boxers, one of his button-up shirts, and nothing else. I scrambled to cover up behind Edward, who was only wearing his pajama pants. This was really a bad moment to catch your daughter and her boyfriend in. "I…wanted to see you." My heart melted a little.**

"**I need to go change." Was all I said. "And so do you." I poked Edward in the ribs. "We'll be right back dad." **

"**We're really lucky I decided to put pants on." Edward murmured from behind me, kissing my shoulder blade. I rolled my eyes.**

"**When have you ever answered the door not wearing**_** pants**_**?" I giggled.**

"**Oh you'd be surprised." Edward teased, pulling a tee shirt on over his head then slipping into a pair of jeans. I smacked him with my shirt before putting it and a pair of shorts on. **

"**I don't think I would be." I contradicted him, pulling him out of our bedroom and downstairs.**

"**So I didn't know you'd moved in with your boyfriend." Charlie said.**

"**Maybe if you had been home once in a while, you would have." I snapped defensively. Edward stood behind me and put his arms around me comfortingly.**

"**Bella, don't blame the divorce all on me." Charlie shouted. "Your mother had plenty to do with it."**

"**Well, my mother at least was **_**home**_**. You were off doing god knows what." I was breathing frantically now, and I could feel the color in my cheeks. "And you haven't even **_**tried **_**to talk to me in almost two months. No wonder I didn't tell you I was moving!" Tears were forming in my eyes now, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. Charlie stood there, looking defeated. Then his eyes snapped up to Edward.**

"**What the hell do you think you're doing, touching my daughter?" He shouted, and I actually gasped.**

"**Dad, Edward is **_**allowed **_**to touch me!" I snarled. "He's my boyfriend, and I love him." Charlie was fuming now, his gaze darting from Edward to me.**

"**You're too young to be in love." Charlie said gruffly.**

"**I'm 23 years old." I said quietly. "And Edward is 25. We're plenty old enough, dad. Older than you were when you and mom got married."**

"**And look how nicely that turned out." Charlie said disgustedly.**

"**Not to be disrespectful, but Bella and I are nothing like you and Renée." Edward interrupted. "We're in love, and our relationship is working."**

"You live together." Charlie pointed out, but I could tell he was losing steam.

"**We've only been living together for a few weeks. Please, if you're going to pick a fight, just leave." I said softly. Charlie stared at me for a moment, and without another word, turned and left.**

**-----**

**Edward is going to meet the friends probably in the chapter after the next one!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok, Edward meets the friends in this chapter!**

**Flashback- Reunions:**

**JPOV**

**I haven't seen Bella in over a month, and it's been torture. I've loved her for years; ever since the day we first met. But I've never had the courage to tell her. And now, she calls Angela out of the blue and wanted to meet up with us again; 'just like old times'. So I was sitting on an uncomfortable barstool, sandwiched between Angela and Jessica, who were speculating about some story in the magazine Jessica had brought along.**

"**I'm going to get some air." I finally said. Bella was over twenty minutes late and Angela and Jessica were using all the oxygen in the place.**

"**Fine, just don't take too long." Angela said distractedly.**

"**Yeah, yeah." I muttered, getting up and walking out the door.**

**I took a deep breath and leaned against the brick wall outside the restaurant, absentmindedly looking around. I could just see a brunette girl in the parking lot. It looked a lot like Bella. I started to call out to her, but suddenly a tall, pale, bronze haired guy appeared behind her and wrapped his arm around her. That couldn't be Bella; she wasn't dating anyone. **

**I looked away and looked back several seconds later. The guy was kissing the girl now, and her hands were clenched in his hair; pulling him closer to her. I watched, disgusted, as his hands traveled down her back and rested directed on her butt. I looked away again and focused on the passing cars instead.**

"**Hey, Jake!" A familiar voice called to me and I whipped my head around. The girl **_**was **_**Bella. Her cheeks were flushed now and she was holding hands with the guy.**

"**Hey, Bells." I hugged her awkwardly, and she didn't let go of the other guys hand.**

"**Jacob, this is Edward. Edward, Jacob." She said formally, placing her hand on **_**Edward's **_**chest. **

"**Hi." I muttered, shaking his hand. The one that wasn't wrapped around Bella's waist.**

"**Hi. I've heard a lot about you." Edward said cheerfully. And why wouldn't he be cheerful? He had the most beautiful, brilliant, **_**perfect**_** woman in his arms. **

"**Aren't Angela, Mike and Jess here yet?" Bella asked, arching her neck back so that it rested on Edward's shoulder. He kissed her neck gently. And……**_**damn**_**, was that a hickey on her neck?**

"**Uh, Jess and Angela are here. But Mike will be here a little later." I said, trying not to look at the very prominent hickey on her neck. Edward seemed to catch what I had seen and he gently rearranged her hair so that it covered the red blotch. **

**This was going to be a hard visit.**

**BPOV**

**Jacob was acting weird. He was staring at the ground, kicking his feet slightly.**

"**Shouldn't we go inside?" Edward asked, holding the door open for me.**

"**Yeah." Jacob muttered under his breath. I shot him a look and he managed a weak smile. Edward was staring intently at Jacob; a cold look in his eyes. Geez, what the hell was wrong with the two of them?**

"**You little bitch!" Jessica's voice came out of nowhere and she suddenly threw in arms around me. "Why didn't you tell me!?" It took me a second to realize what she meant, until she glanced up at Edward, a dreamy expression on her face.**

"**Oh." I blushed and leaned against Edward's side. "I wanted to tell you in person." I said, and Angela came up behind Jessica, a puzzled expression on her face.**

"**Jess, what were you screaming-" She stopped and looked at Edward; her jaw dropped open. "Oh my god! Bella, why didn't you **_**tell**_** us?"**

"**Let's just sit down." I suggested, taking Edward's hand and pulling him deeper into the restaurant. He kept his head low and didn't take his sunglasses off. I knew he was afraid of being spotted. Jessica and Angela tailed close behind us, while Jacob sulked; his head hanging low. I knew he had no idea why Angela and Jessica were all worked up, and I knew he didn't care.**

"**So, where did you meet?" Jessica asked the second my butt hit the seat.**

"**Remember my friend Alice?" I asked. Angela and Jess nodded enthusiastically. "Well, Alice is Edward's little sister."**

"**And Alice couldn't wait to introduce us." Edward added, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. **

"**I mean, I saw all the stories in the magazines, but they never identified you or got a really good picture. And I **_**assumed**_** you would have told me about something like this!" Jessica exclaimed. "I mean, you're dating Edward freaking Cullen!" Edward laughed and Jacob's head snapped up, his eyes narrow.**

**JPOV  
**

"**I mean, you're dating Edward freaking Cullen!" Jessica squealed to Bella. **

**Wait a second, how did I know that name? I narrowed my eyes and looked at Edward, trying desperately to place why he looked so familiar. Bella caught me staring at her precious boyfriend and raised one eyebrow at me, but continued to answer Jessica and Angela's questions.**

**I looked down at my feet and noticed Jessica's open bag on the ground. Sticking out of the top slightly was the magazine she and Angela had been pouring over earlier. I nudged the magazine with my foot until the cover came into view; making me suck in my breath.**

"**SEXIEST BACHELOR EDWARD CULLEN SETTLING DOWN?" The headline screamed, emblazed over a blurry picture of Edward and a dark haired woman that looked remarkably like Bella holding moving boxes from the car I recognized as Bella's.**

**Edward Cullen…..the movie star. The love of my life was dating a fucking movie star.**

"**Bella, can I talk to you?" I interrupted them suddenly, and everyone feel silent to look up at me. I was already on my feet, holding my hand out to Bella. She bit her lip delicately and looked from Edward to me, obviously torn.**

"**Yeah." She finally said, before softly kissing him and whispering something in his ear that made him smile. "I'll be right back." Bella said in a louder voice, and took my hand. I yanked her to the back of the restaurant unceremoniously. "What's up, Jake?" She asked cautiously. **

"**Bella, I have to tell you something." I said softly. "Something I should have told you a long time ago." She immediately looked concerned and started to speak, but I held a finger to her lush, plump lips. "I love you, Bella." I finally said. "I love you." Her jaw dropped and she stared at me for a long moment and then started moving her lips like she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.**

"**Wha- why did you have to tell me this now, Jacob?" She snapped. "I come here with my boyfriend and you tell me you freaking **_**love me**_**!? I can't believe this!" Bella's voice cracked and she held her face in her hands.**

"**Better late than never." I said softly. **

"**Don't do this, Jake." She begged, touching my hand gently. "I've chosen him." My heart pounded at those words.**

"**You've only known him for four months." I said harshly. "That's enough for you to make your decision?"**

"**I love him." Bella said softly. "More than anything." I searched her face and took her hand in mine.**

"**What is it? His looks? The fame? The **_**money**_**?" I asked, and Bella yanked her hand away.**

"**It has nothing to do with **_**any**_** of that." She hissed. "I love **_**him**_**. Edward. The kind, sensitive, romantic, brilliant, loving, generous, beautiful man he is. Not what he **_**has**_**. Him."**

"**Him." I said. "Why, Bella? I can be all those things, if you let me try." I pleaded.**

"**No." She said quietly, almost apologetically. "No one is like Edward. He completes me, Jacob. He is my true other half, my soul mate." I cringed at those words and slowly took her face in my hands.**

"**I love you, Bella." I said before leaning down and kissing her. She was stunned at first, not reacting. But when her brain picked up on what was happening, she squirmed and yanked away from me, gasping for breath.**

"**You idiot!" She screeched, drawing back her hand and punching me across the face. I hardly felt the blow, but Bella let out a cry and desperately grabbed her hand, wincing. **

"**What happened?" I asked, reaching for her rapidly swelling hand.**

"**Get **_**away**_** from me!" She cried, cradling her hand to her chest and dashing back to the table where Edward, Jessica, Angela, and now Mike sat. "Edward!" She called, and he immediately stood and held his arms out her. He took one look at her hand and glared at me; the look in his eyes pure fury.**

"**I have to go." I muttered. **

**I turned to Bella. "I meant what I said, Bella. Don't forget that."**

**----**

**A/N: Poor Jacob….rejected. I'm going to have more Mike in the story later on, but not in a bad way. Promise.**

**And, oh, I might cry if you don't review :( **

**Xoxo-Melodyella aka Mellie**


	13. Chapter 13

**Bella's new relationship will be revealed in the next chapter. Now, do you guys think she should end up with this person, or not? **

Oh god. Four months, a week, and two days later, and things weren't getting any easier. But it's time to start picking up the pieces of my shattered life. Starting with reorganization.

I knew that I would never be able to dispose of Edward's possessions, but I couldn't keep staring them in the face. I needed a special place for them; somewhere he could live on. So I went around our bedroom, picking up things and placing them on our king-sized bed.

His car keys. His cell phone. His wallet. A stupid bouncy ball he had gotten out of a vending machine at Pizza Hut. His books and toiletries. Each precious item that he had, laid out in a row. Taking a deep breath, I opened his closet and was immediately assaulted by his scent. Fighting back the urge to cry, I determinedly sifted through the clothes, leaving only a few of his button-up shirts, tee shirts, and ties hanging there. I also left several pairs of his boxers and a few pair of athletic shorts in his drawers. Everything else joined the pile on the bed.

As I knelt down to fish a pair of shoes out of the corner of his closet, my hand brushed up against a small and unfamiliar cardboard box. Curious, I pulled it out and hesitantly lifted the lid. I almost lost myself at what I saw. A worn envelope, with my name written in Edward's unmistakable script. Hands shaking, I slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the letter inside.

_Bella,_

_I wrote this letter after you said yes to my proposal. After you agreed to marry me. You have no idea how happy you have made me in these last three years, and I cannot wait until you're my wife. I love you so much, Bella, and I always will. The things in this box all represent something special in our relationship. Anytime I'm gone, you can look through this box and remember those moments, and remember that I will always come home to you. Thank you for loving me._

_Your Edward_

I dropped the letter and buried my head in my hands, sobs racking through my body at an alarming pace. He wasn't coming home. I would never be his wife.

As soon as my tears stopped, I lightly shifted the box to get a better look at the contents. I was surprised at what I found. Lying on top was a bright red scarf, carefully folded. A post-it was stuck to it.

_You were wearing this scarf the night we told each other "I love you" for the first time. You looked beautiful, like an angel._

I gently stroked the scarf before digging through the box.

A battered copy of Wuthering Heights.

_You wouldn't put this down…until I hid it from you. But you were so sad when you couldn't find it that I bought you another copy at a used bookstore._

An 'Edward Cullen' tattoo sheet from one of those teen magazines, with one of the tattoo's missing.

_When you found these in a magazine, you insisted that I put one on. I refused, but when I fell asleep you applied it to my butt. I still haven't got you back for that._

A slightly dented coke can.

_From the camping trip we went on with Emmet and Rosalie. You threw the can at Emmet when he wouldn't shut up about our sex life._

A swatch of fabric I recognized from an old blanket.

_The blanket we sat on when we were at the beach during our first date. You said that you would sacrifice your privacy if it meant you could be with me._

Several photographs littered the bottom of the box, but one stuck out from the rest. It was a little blurry, and the lighting was terrible. But Edward and I were grinning and holding tightly to each other, lying in bed.

_We took this picture the morning after we made love for the first time (and several times after that….). You woke up, and asked if I had to leave. I said no, and that I planned on spending most of my morning with you. I still do._

There was no way this was ever going to get any easier.

**I posted some pictures on my profile of how I see Edward and Bella. Check them out, and please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm glad you guys liked the Edward/Bella pictures, I'm going to post a few more.**

"Hey, Emmet, can you pass the ketchup?" Alice called from the far end of the picnic table. It had been five months and a week today, and Alice insisted that I join her and Emmet for a 'Best Buddies' camping trip.

So here I am.

We ate in silence, except Alice's random chatter. I couldn't help but think that the last time I had been here was with Edward. It was getting a little easier to think about him, but impossible not to.

"Bella? Is that you?" I whipped my head around and was stunned at who I saw.

"Mike! Hey!" I awkwardly hugged my ex boyfriend/former best friend. "How have you been?" Mike hesitated slightly.

"Good, great actually." He cleared his throat. "How have you been holding up?" He asked quietly, obviously uncomfortable. I forced a smile; it was my second nature now.

"I'll be fine." I assured him. "So, are you here alone?" I asked, peering over his shoulder.

"Oh, no!" Mike gestured behind him. "Jess and Jacob are here too. You want to come over and say hi?" Mike asked. I looked over at Alice, who waved me on.

"Go have fun." She grinned. "We'll be here." I flashed a smile and waved a little as I followed Mike to his campsite.

"How's Jacob?" I asked in a strangled voice, trying to sound nonchalant. But Mike knew me to well for that.

"He's good, Bella. Not dating anyone….mostly just hangs out with us these days." Mike cast me a sideways glance. "He really wanted to talk to you after…..after the accident, but Angela and Jessica and I told him it was too soon." I immediately blushed and looked down at the uneven ground.

"Yeah." I muttered, kicking at the rocks underneath my feet. "Definitely too soon."

"Here we are." Mike said, and Jacob, Jessica, and Angela came into view.

"Bella!" Angela exclaimed, scrambling to her feet. "I've missed you so much, how have you been?" God, every time someone asked me that it made me feel worse. But I pushed the feelings back and offered Angela a smile.

"I'll be fine." I said for the second time that day. "So…I haven't seen any of you since we met up in Portland over a year ago!" Ugh. _Edward_ had been with us then.

"I know!" Jessica pouted. "It's been boring without you! So, I was wondering, if you an Edward had gotten married, would I have been invited to the wedding?" My heart immediately sunk and I inhaled sharply. Everyone else's eyes widened and Mike elbowed Jessica in the ribs.

"Jess!" Angela hissed, her face bright red. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down, but it was impossible.

"I….I need to be alone." I choked out, and ran off, escaping into a haven of trees about 200 yards away. I sunk into the moist earth and started crying, wrapping my arms around myself. I rocked back in forth with my head in my lap, taking deep breaths.

"Bells." A familiar deep voice spoke from somewhere behind me and I continued to cry, not caring who saw me at this point. His arm was suddenly around me and I cringed from his touch. "What do you need?" He whispered, making me cry harder.

_Edward. I need Edward. Edward Anthony Cullen. No one else will do._

"I need _him_." I wailed, clenching at the dirt beneath my hands.

"I'm here." Jacob reminded me quietly. "Please, Bella, let me help." He begged, kissing my forehead sweetly. That act of affection made everything that much worse.

"I just want everyone to stop forcing me to think about him more than I already do!" I choked out. "Bringing him up, taking me places I went with him….It's not fucking helping!" Jacob didn't say anything; just let me cry in his arms for at least ten more minutes until I was gasping for breath and the tears were starting to dry on my face.

**A/N: I know this is a short chapter, but it really needs to end here. Please review and check out all the extras I posted for this story under my profile.**

**Xoxo-Melodyella aka Mellie**


	15. Chapter 15

**Here it is: The chapter in which Bella's new relationship will be revealed. I'm sure most of you saw this coming though! This contains a lemon, BTW!**

The time was dragging by so slowly. Eight months, three weeks, and six days. Although I'm no longer alone, I am not complete with Edward.

What happens when you give your heart away to someone, and then they die? I gave my heart to Edward long before he was gone. Did he take it with him, wherever he is? Am I to walk around the rest of my life with this hole in my life that can never be filled?

The ringing doorbell distracted me, and I raced downstairs to open the door. Jacob stood there, smiling down at me before kissing me on the lips.

"Hey, Bells. You look great." He said, taking my arm and leading me to the car. "Are you hungry?"

"Thanks, Jake. And I'm _starved_." I replied, and he moved his hand to my waist. I tensed a little, but Jacob didn't seem to notice.

This is our third date. And a lot of guys expect one thing on that third date. Namely, sex. I knew Jacob wouldn't pressure me or anything, but I was feeling unsure. I felt very…safe around Jacob. He was nothing like the haven that Edward had been, but he exuded a form of protectiveness all the same. And he was so sweet and understanding. The poor boy had found the courage to tell me he loved me, and I had stomped on his heart. And he was giving me another chance.

Jacob and I have had our three dates in the span of three long months. I hadn't waited that long to sleep with Edward, because falling in love with him had been effortless, and took barely a month. And Edward, always the gentleman, had never _fucked_ me unless I specifically asked him to or if we were caught up in the moment. We had made love, however rough and primal the act was.

When I gave myself to Edward, I was totally and completely sure that it was the right time. Everything had been absolutely perfect, exactly how I had always imagined my first time.

But was this what I wanted? Was _Jacob _what I wanted, now that I couldn't have Edward?

-----

"God, Bella. You're incredible." Jacob groaned as we stumbled through the doorway, clinging to each other as our lips desperately fused together. I dropped my keys on the table doorway we navigated our way upstairs, never letting our lips disconnect.

Jacob was definitely different than Edward, which took some getting used to. Edward was passionate, sweet, and adoring. Jacob was raw, primal, and passionate. His rough kisses traveled down my neck and I worked my fingers through his hair before gasping, assaulted by yet another painful memory.

**Flashback- First Time:**

"**I love you, Bella." Edward whispered in my ear, making me shiver.**

"**I love you too." I responded with enthusiasm, locking my arms around his neck and kissing him forcibly. **

"**You're absolutely sure about this?" Edward asked for the second time that night, taking my face in his hands and pulling away from me so that our eyes met. "You want this?"**

**  
"More than anything." I gasped, trying to close the space between us again by pulling him back on top of me. We were on his bed, Edward looming over me with heated kisses. The sexual tension was almost unbearable, and I was having a hard time controlling myself. "Please, Edward." I begged, reaching up to unbutton his shirt. He didn't move for a moment, then responded with just as much enthusiasm as me.**

**His hands easily slid of my shirt as I continued to struggle with his. He chuckled and took his own shirt off, exposing his beautiful body to me. His hands then moved to my chest, unhooking my bra and tossing it to the side before lettings his palms slide down my chest slowly and sensually.**

**Edward was so perfect. He was everything I could ever ask for, and more. I couldn't believe he actually wanted **_**me.**_** A small tear slid down my cheek and Edward immediately stopped his assault on my breasts, looking at me with concern.**

"**What's wrong, baby? If this doesn't feel right, or you want to stop, just say the word. We don't have to do anything." I shook my head frantically.**

"**It's perfect." I whispered; my voice cracking. "Everything is perfect." He nodded and kissed my temple before continuing his work.**

**We had talked about this before; I was a virgin, he was not. Although Mike and I had dated for years, I had never felt that special connection my mother had always blabbed about during those awkward sex talks, so we never really did anything. I mean, we did **_**some**_** things, but not the actual act itself. I was understandably nervous.**

**Edward was pressing loving kisses down my neck and across my collarbone, occasionally scrapping his teeth against my skin. I felt like I was on fire, like I was going to combust if Edward didn't relieve my tension**_** now**_**.**

"**Please." I whispered, rubbing my legs together slightly. God, this man was actually, physically making me **_**ache **_**for him. He complied, gently removing my skirt and his pants, never stopping the torrent of kisses. "**_**Please**_**." I begged again. "More, Edward." **

**His fingers hooked around my underwear and pulled them down my legs, kissing every inch of skin the garment passed before throwing them to the side to join the rest of our clothing. All that was left was his boxers. I timidly nudged at them with one hand, before gaining courage and pulling them completely down.**

_**Oh my god this is going to hurt**_**.**

**Edward kissed me on the lips sweetly before lacing his fingers within mine.**

"**Baby, just squeeze my hand if it hurts, alright?" He said huskily, moving down on me slightly, so that his tip skimmed my entrance slightly. I moaned a little at the sensation, my knees nearly buckling with that one touch. "I love you very much." He murmured in my ear before gently easing into me, never taking his eyes off my face. **

**I bit my lip at the slight burning sensation, knowing it was nothing compared to what was to come. Edward kissed my lips again and I relaxed slightly, squeezing his hands a little when he approached my barrier.**

"**It will be over in no time." Edward assured me and I nodded, burying my head deep in the crook of his neck and taking shallow breaths. **

**He broke through with one gentle thrust, and I squeezed his hands hard, fighting the urge to cry out. **

"**Tell me when, love." Edward said quietly, kissing my earlobe. The pain was gone as quickly as it had come, and I was slowly adjusting to him.**

"**Alright." I said; my voice low and husky. **

"**Alright." Edward repeated, moving in me slightly. **

"**God, move faster." I ground out; squeezing my eyes shut and wrapped my legs around his waist, gasping at the new and more powerful sensation. He groaned and moved faster, kissing all up and down my body with pure passion and lust.**

"**Open your eyes, beautiful." He said after kissing each of my eyelids. I slowly opened them just as Edward shifted slightly, causing a wave of pleasure to wash through me. **

"**Edward." I moaned desperately, my back arching off the mattress as I gritted my teeth. "Oh, Edward!" I cried out, feeling the sensation that had been building suddenly snap, sending my body into spasms of pure and controllable pleasure. I felt him grin against my neck as I came, breathing heavily; his name slipping eagerly from my lips. **

**His movements were picking up in sped and I felt myself nearing the edge again. I knew he was close to. He came only a few moments later, biting my neck roughly as he did so. I cried out and toppled off the edge again, panting and holding onto Edward for dear life. **

"**That was…incredible." I managed, gasping. Edward chuckled and kissed me again, with unbound passion.**

"**It was, love. Thank you." He whispered.**

"**Thank **_**you**_**." I corrected him. He shifted so that we were spooned together, and he kissed my shoulder blade.**

"**I'm going to love you like this forever." Edward breath, and I believed him.**

**End Flashback**

And I lost myself in Jacob's kisses, craving the feelings that only Edward could really give me.

-----

I woke up the next morning with Jacob's arm draped around me, wrapped naked in the sheets. I took one look at his sleeping face and nearly dissolved, fighting silent tears that were already pouring down my face. I can't do this. I can't live my life without Edward, I can't fully be _happy_. I can't manage without him.

**Send out the morning birds  
To sing of the damage  
Now that the calm's returned  
I know I can't manage**

"Bella." His whisper came from the doorway, where he casually leaned against the doorframe. The pain in his eyes was evident, but his voice was calm. I glanced from him to Jacob's slumbering form, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, standing up and walking to him, slipping on his robe as I walked. He took me in his arms, holding me like I was breakable. I had already been broken.

"I want you to be happy." Edward said in a strained voice, resting his chin on the top of my head and I curled against his body.

**You're standing in my doorway  
Though he's asleep in my bed  
The steady murmur  
Always in my head**

"You're my everything." I assured him. "My ultimate. I will _never_ forget you. It's impossible." My voice was shaking, and I knew that I would truly never escape the pain of what had happened.

**You're the finest thing that I've done  
The hurricane I'll never outrun  
I could wait around for the dust to still  
But I don't believe that it ever will  
**

Everything had fallen apart so quickly. I had Emmet and Alice, as well as Rose, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme. But the foundation of my life had been Edward, and he was gone now. Nothing else mattered as much as it used to.

**  
And since the roof fell in  
I'll lean on what matters  
Caught in the slightest wind  
Everything else unravels**

You're the finest thing that I've done  
The hurricane I'll never outrun  
I could wait around for the dust to still  
But I don't believe that it ever will

Edward placed a chaste kiss on my lips before turning and leaving me there, with no idea what to do next.

**A/N: Aw, I have to go cry now. Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for the little delay in updating. P.S. An important notice is posted on my profile.**

**Flashback- The Next Morning:**

**BPOV**

**I squinted from the light streaming in the window, burying my head into Edward's bare chest. I had never felt so loved and so complete. Edward made me feel perfect and most importantly, ecstatically happy.**

**Edward's hands were running through my hair, twisting the curls around his long fingers.**

"**Morning, love." He said easily, and I snuggled up to his side.**

"**Good morning." I whispered, planting a soft kiss on his neck. "Do you have to leave?" I asked, tracing the muscles in his arms with my pinky. "Like….for work or something? Because I can go." I was honestly worried that now that I had slept with him, he wouldn't want me anymore.**

**Edward chuckled to himself and softly kissed my forehead.**

"**No, Bella. I don't have to leave, and I don't want **_**you**_** to leave. Ever." He smiled down at me and started drawing lazy circles on around my belly button with his thumb.**

"**Really?" My voice squeaked a little.**

"**Really." He swore. "Do you actually think that I would let you go? Bella, I just found you."**

"**I thought maybe you wouldn't want me anymore now that-" Edward sat up abruptly and pulled me up with him.**

"**You thought that I just wanted to sleep with you?" He spat, his eyes burning. "**_**I love you**_**, Bella. You know that." I ducked my head in embarrassment and he took my chin in his hands, forcing my head up so I was looking directly into his green eyes.**

"**I love you too." I murmured. "But I can't help but doubt myself, Edward. You…… you were my first time and I was worried you wouldn't-" **

"**You were worried that I wouldn't **_**enjoy myself**_**?" He asked, exasperated. "That it wouldn't be **_**good**_** for me?" I blushed and nodded a little and, to my surprise, Edward laughed. "Bella, you definitely have nothing to worry about." He assured me, placing his arm around my waist and embracing me with a fierce hug.**

"**I'm sorry for my freak out." I said, blushing again when I realized that I was naked in his arms. "It won't happen again." I assured him, then flopped back down on my pillows. Edward stood up and pulled his pajama pants on. **

"**I'll be right back." He said, kissing the top of my head. "Don't go anywhere." He teased, and I giggled, propping myself up on my elbows. Edward left the room and I looked around, bored. **

**The room was neat, and very simple. I spotted his crumpled green shirt on the floor and eagerly slipped it on, inhaling his delicious scent. **

"**You look sexy in my shirt." Edward said from the doorway, his voice husky. I looked up and smiled at him, then stretched out on the bed. "You're still tired?" He asked, incredulous.**

"**I didn't get much sleep." I reminded him. "And neither did you."**

"**Oh right." He rolled his eyes and slid on the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my hair. We stayed like that for a moment before Edward yanked me up into sitting position and extracting a camera from the nightstand. "Smile." He ordered, pulling me onto his lap and aiming the camera at us. I ducked my head immediately, making him groan.**

"**I look like crap!" I protested, gesturing to my bird nest hair.**

"**Too bad." He said cheerfully. "Now suck it up and smile." I sighed and offered my brightest smile for the camera. The flash stung my eyes but I didn't mind. "Thank you." He grinned, dropping the camera on the nightstand.**

"**Yeah, yeah." I grumbled.**

"**And for the record, you do **_**not**_** look like crap." Edward said, making me scoff. "It's true!" he protested. "Your lips" his finger traced the outline of my lips "are bruised because **_**I**_** kissed them. And your hair" he gently ran his hands through my hair "is messy because **_**I**_** ran my hands through your curls. And your face is red" he kissed my cheek "because **_**I**_** am embarrassing you." **

"**I love you." Was all I could say, and I leaned over to kiss him.**

"**I love you." He whispered, pulling him into his arms once more.**

**-----**

**A/N: A fluffy, happy chapter! Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry for the delay in updating…I'm pretty sure something was up with the site because it wouldn't let me upload stories or even log-in! But I'm back until August 13…then I will be absent for a while. **

I sat up in bed, staring at the man lying next to me. He wasn't the man I loved. I had used him in a desperate attempt to get over my dead fiancée, and it hadn't worked. Edward was on my mind more than ever now. Guilt flooded my thoughts, and I couldn't believe I had actually slept with Jacob.

Jacob stirred a little, then peeked his eyes open. His eyes met mine and he grinned lazily, finding my hand under the covers and squeezing it.

"You have to go." I said in a cold voice, looking straight ahead. Jacob sat up in confusion, stunned.

"What?!" He asked, frowning. "Why?"

"Just get out!" I cried, tightening Edward's familiar robe around me and bolting for the bathroom, crying my eyes out. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and dropped to my knees, holding my arms tightly across my chest and rocking back and forth.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Jacob was pounding on the door, but I ignored him, closing my eyes and continuing to rock pathetically on the floor. "Please let me in!"

"Go _away_." I screamed, pounding my fist on the floor. "You aren't him." I whispered, clenching my fist before wrapping my arms around my body again, trying to keep myself together.

But I was already shattered beyond belief.

**Flashback- Last Encounter:**

**EPOV**

**I shifted underneath Bella, trying to get out of bed without waking her up. Sliding to the side, I managed to get off the bed and over to my suitcase, flipping it open and shoving clothes inside hastily. I needed to be on my plane in two hours, then in Las Vegas in time for the press junket. Bella didn't want me to go, but I had to. I had skipped out in several events in the past three years, but this one was extremely important.**

"**No." I turned around to see Bella sitting up in bed, her arms crossed across her bare chest and her full lips set in a pout.**

"**Baby….." I groaned, dropping onto the bed next to her. She immediately curled over to my side, her warmth capturing me.**

"**Stay." She pouted, batting her eyelashes. "Please? Please, Edward. I'm going to miss you so much." I sighed and kissed her hair, inhaling her delicious strawberry shampoo. **

"**I'll miss you too." I chuckled. "But I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning, before you even wake up." I promised, making Bella smile a little bit.**

"**Fine. But you're going to owe me. Big time." She poked my ribs and arched her neck. "Now, I need a goodbye kiss." Bella said throatily, looking at me through her eyelashes. I leaned down to kiss her, lacing my fingers in her hair to pull her up against my body.**

**We deepened the kiss, which continued for several minutes, before Bella broke away, breathing heavily but smiling.**

"**Now get out of here." She teased, kicking me lightly. **

"**I love you." I smiled, kissing her one last time.**

"**I love you too. Have fun, okay?" Bella watched me grab my suitcase. I paused at the door and turned around to face her.**

"**I'll miss you." I murmured, blowing a kiss. **

"**I'll miss you too, baby." Bella murmured. "But I'll be here when you get back."**

**So I turned and walked away.**

**-----**

**A/N: This is a very short chapter, but I just wanted the Bella-breakdown and a little EPOV. I will update with a much longer chapter ASAP. Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	18. Update

**I'm just writing this really quick update to let you all know that I will not be updating anymore for this story until I get back from my honeymoon on the 22. And since I am getting married this Saturday, I have been extremely busy. I feel like I am neglecting you all! But we are going backpacking through Europe, so there is no possible way for me to bring my laptop along with me and continue to update. I am, however, bringing my iPod so I can get on fanfiction to read stories as often as I can. I will also be able to check on reviews (hint hint) and stuff like that. The only story I will be updating tomorrow is my new one, which is called 'In Search of Euphoria'. But I will be back before you know it.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm back! Well, kind of. I'm still in Europe, but Jensen and I are staying with my aunt and her family in Rome until September, and my lovely aunt is loaning me her laptop. Europe was so amazing, if you ever get the chance, you absolutely **_**have**_** to go. **

**Thanks for being so patient, I filled an entire two subject notebook with writing, so these next few chapters will be coming out faster.**

**-----**

**Flashback- I Love You:**

**BPOV**

"**I can't believe I'm in New York City." I sighed, leaning my head against Edward's chest. He laughed and tickled my side.**

"**I can't believe you've never been to New York!" Edward grinned, tilting his head up to look at the blackened sky. **

**We had spent most of the day hiding under sweatshirt hoods and dark sunglasses, to no avail. Of course, we had be recognized and retreated back to our hotel room. But now, it was 6 in the morning and we weren't being bothered. I tightened the red scarf around my neck and stared up at Edward, mesmerized. It was still hard for me to believe that this relationship was real. He was so perfect, flawless in nearly every way. Edward had his pick of women; and still he chose me.**

"**What?" Edward asked, catching me staring at him. **

"**Nothing. I was just thinking." I blushed, and Edward squeezed me tight to his side. **

"**About…?" He prodded, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.**

"**You. And….me." I admitted. Edward sighed and smirked a little bit.**

"**You mean **_**us**_**." He corrected. "You were thinking about us." **

"**Yes, I suppose so." I tucked my chin into the collar of my coat and continued walking. But Edward caught my arm and held me in place.**

"**What about us?" He asked curiously, a small line appearing between his eyebrows. I sighed and Edward curled his finger under my chin, tilting my head up. "Love, you're going to have to elaborate."**

"**Where is this going?" I finally asked, and Edward's hand fell to his side; releasing my chin. His eyes were cloudy, but he was still smiling. **

"**Bella, I love you." He said quietly. "And I am willing to take this relationship as far as you will let me." I stood there for a minute, dumbfounded. Edward's face dropped after awhile and he shoved his hands in his coat pockets. Then I realized what was wrong.**

"**I love you too." I whispered, and Edward broke into a huge smile; wrapping his arms around me and kissing me passionately. I could feel him smiling all through the embrace. **

"**I love you, I love you, I **_**love**_** you." Edward breathed, planting soft kisses on my nose, cheeks, and forehead. "You're so beautiful, Bella. And sweet, and perfect. I love you."**

"**I think I've heard that somewhere." I teased, kissing his neck with equal tenderness. "I love **_**you**_**." I whispered, not even attempting to stop the dopey grin spreading across my face. "You are so amazing, Edward. Perfect." He was grinning to and I didn't care how stupid we must have looked. He loved me, and I loved him too. That was the only thing that mattered in this moment.**

**And, of course, I ruined the moment by letting out a huge yawn. Edward's eyes immediately narrowed and he scooped me up in his arms, heading back in the direction of our hotel.**

"**You're exhausted." He accused as I attempted to protest. "And I won't have the woman I love exerting herself on the last day of our trip. You haven't forgotten; we leave late tonight."  
**

"**I know." I grumbled, giving up my fight and relaxing in his strong arms. "You know, sometimes you're too sweet for your own good." I poked him in the ribs and Edward responded my silencing me with a kiss.**

"**So you've told me." Edward rolled his eyes. "But you should just give up. I'm always going to love you like this, Bella. Get used to it." His tone was playful and he was smiling that same dopey grin I knew was plastered across my face as well. **

**Again, it didn't matter. Not in this perfect, untouchable moment.**

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**A/N: Ugh, you can hate me for this short chapter. But I am still vacationing, so I get a little lax time as well. But I will update this story or one of my others later today.**

**You have no idea how jet-lagged I am…I don't even remember what time zone we are in. Night. Or…good morning. Or good afternoon….fuck, I don't know. See ya.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	20. Chapter 20

**I was going to continue this story for a few more chapters, but then came up with the perfect ending. Later on, in the future, I will probably create a story made up of outtakes from this one.**

BPOV

7 years, 35 days.

I was driving down the highway in the pouring rain, fixated on the road ahead. Driving in weather this bad always made me nervous, and I already wasn't the best of drivers.

And suddenly….

The sickening crunching noise, the sudden impact, the crushing feeling, the blinding light, the smell of smoke and twisted metal, and then….nothing. Darkness and crippling pain. Then, a feeling of pure and total bliss. I felt weightless, like all the stress I had been harboring for seven years had suddenly been lifted from me. All that pain was just _gone_.

"Bella?" An eerily familiar voice was in my ear; I felt soft, cool grass beneath me. The air smelled incredible, a smell I knew perfectly but couldn't exactly place. "Bella, love, open your eyes." The voice spoke again, and now I felt a pair of lips, smooth as glass but still incredibly warm, travel from my ear down my neck. So I opened my eyes, shocked by what I saw and where I was.

Edward and I's meadow. The secluded, beautiful meadow we had often camped in. Everything was exactly the same, down to the man at my side.

"Edward." I breathed, studying his face for a moment before throwing myself on top of him and fiercely kissing him, planting my fingers in his hair and nearly breaking down into tears of pure joy and relief.

It was him. It was my Edward; he had come back to me.

He looked no different from the last time I had seen him; when he had left for that damn press junket in Las Vegas. His bronze hair was still mussed and his emerald eyes were still blazing beautifully; burning into mine. We eventually broke apart, and I ran my hand down his face, revisiting the familiar contours of his perfect features.

"What-_how_ are you here?" I asked, moving so that I was straddling his lap. "How are you back?" Edward's smile dropped and he held my face in his hands, his expression serious and unreadable.

"Bella….where do you think we are?" He asked carefully, frowning now.

"What? We're….we're in our meadow." I laughed, but was extremely confused. Did he not remember?

"Yes, love. But do you remember what happened?" I frowned and shook my head. Edward took a deep breath and his lips traveled from my neck, up my jaw, and to my ear; softly planting butterfly kisses along the way. "You…you were in a car accident." He whispered. "You died on impact, seven years after _I _died. You were on your way home from Alice and Jasper's, and it was storming-" He broke off at my shocked expression and kissed the very tip of my nose. "You're, well, _we're_…." He looked me in the eye and whispered, "dead. We both died, Bella. And now, we're here together." I stared at him in the shock, the last moments of my life flooding back into my memory. Oh _god_. I did remember.

I had been visiting Alice and Jasper to see their new baby, and Emmet had offered me a ride home because he knew how much I hated driving in storms. But I had declined, because that would have made him late to meet Rosalie. So I had gotten in my car, gotten on the highway….and died.

"I'm dead." I stated, stunned.

"Yes." Edward whispered apologetically, skimming the skin of my cheek with his nose.

"And…._you're_ dead." I whispered.

"Yes." Edward said again, his voice low.

"Then where _are_ we?" I asked, looking around.

"I don't know, love. Heaven? The afterlife? I really have no clue." Edward murmured, looking around as well. "I don't….I don't know where I've been. I just opened my eyes and saw you lying here, alone. And I knew what had happened to you, but I-" I silenced him my pressing my lips to his, capturing our lips in a sweet, romantic kiss.

"I missed you." I whispered after our kiss was broken. "I missed you so much."

"I know, love. I've missed you so much as well." Edward answered, running his hands through my hair. "But, Bella, it doesn't matter anymore. Now, we're here together. For as long as we like…for ever and ever."

"For ever and ever and ever?" I asked teasingly.

"God I hope so." He groaned, and his lips met mine again. And everything was suddenly good again; I had the missing piece of my life here in my arms.

**The End.**

**Please review and give me some suggestions for what you would like to see as outtakes. Chances are, I'll make them.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	21. IMPORTANT

**For all of you who still are reading or have this story on alert, I want to let you know that this story is going to undergo some editing. There will be no major plot changes, just things to improve the story and tie up some loose ends. There will also be a couple more chapters to tie up the loose ends that I created. **

**It probably won't take me very long, so no worries there!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


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